So I've only played poker once or twice in the past two weeks.

I have been in the real world, doing all the things I hoped to do, like going for walks every single day - mostly in the beautiful park just down the road from me which is starting to come alive thanks to beautiful spring weather.

Also doing weights every second day, catching up with friends and going out more, putting a lot more of myself into music (play so much better when not permanently exhausted from donkament schedule) and I went and got my learners permit again for driving (yes I'm 26 and don't have a drivers license, epic fail).

I also managed to fall in love, and punch one of my best friends.

To be fair I was dressed as a ninja, he was dressed as a sailor, and we had each drunk ~1 bottle of spirits.

And we made up the same night.

But yeah.

I guess I am a bit of a life force sometimes.

Two weeks of real life and I'm out there fighting friends and romancing people I shouldn't be romancing and yeah I dunno, it has been the weirdest, initially best, in the end worst, two weeks I can remember.

As far as the girl goes, well that's over.

It is utterly devastating when you know beyond all knowing that you could, in another world, at another time, have something so all-encompassing with a person, and that they feel the same, but, in this world, at this time, it simply cannot be.

Life.

Great feeling waking up 10 minutes too late for premier FTOPS events and not giving a **** though.

Very liberating.

That all by itself is a huge life improvement.

I've been reading Old Man And The Sea, man what a good book.

So stuff is weird enough in my life now that I guess I'm retiring from retirement and grinding again for a bit.

I need some money anyway, **** is expensive.

It's pretty amazing to look back to how low I was feeling at the end of September.

I was really losing the plot, donating tens of thousands at omaha, feeling burdened by the weight of my mortgage but lacking in the enthusiasm to *really* make anything happen.

All until that one conversation with Bond18 where I realised that I just, really, love, tournaments...

Since the blog post I made the next day where I said I was gonna let myself play tournaments for the conceivable future, I've made about $150K, and come first in the P5 Monthly Leaderboard.

Pretty amazing to reflect on, and even though I have obviously run above expectation, there is really just SO MUCH to be said for "wanting to be there".

There is so much subtlety in poker, so many close decisions, small decisions, patterns and presence that we project with all of our play.

If you don't want to be there when you're playing it's hard to ever truly play well, whereas when you really do wanna be there, you find a way to win.

So anyway now that I've paid off my house and achieved most of what I wanted to achieve from the grinding side of tournaments, I'm going to be putting in a lot less volume and focusing more on other stuff, like taking care of my health, sleep, diet, exercise, organisation, music, coaching, leggo etc.

The weather here is getting amazing, every day is that perfect 25c/77f where it's not *hot* but it's just warm enough, the sky is a beautiful shade of blue, the wind is blowing through the trees, birds are chirping etc... I love spring.

I'll play here and there of course, probably every Sunday and the better FTOPS events and stuff but I'm just not stressing myself out over this game anymore.

I've made ~1M the past 2 years and really, I'm still young, I own a house, I live in a beautiful city, have tons of great friends none of whom really have any money anyway, when I look over my life I really just... don't need to be grinding anymore.

How much is enough?

Basically I'm just going to try and do life-extending type stuff, and read, and watch movies, hang out with people, enjoy not being dead, enjoy having some semblance of youth remaining, etc.

I've been pretty slack about Leggo/Coaching related stuff for a while now too, and that's gonna stop, I wanna put a lot more effort in and make some improvements in those areas.

I feel good about the future and great about having gotten far ahead enough of the curve that I don't have to be a slave to the game anymore.

I think Apathy is a great example of doing it right, how much money would that guy make if he just stayed at home and grinded?

Inconceivable amounts, but that's not what life is about, it's about sailing around the world in the sun with friends and then shipping live donkaments here and there, imo

For posterity's sake here is my list of 4-5 figure scores for October:

4th 1k monday - $31727
2nd 200K gtd - $27000
1st 55+R - $25850
1st 60K gtd - $19942
3rd 90K gtd - $11188
1st 30K gtd - $10670
1st 40K gtd - $10160
1st 30K gtd - $8100
3rd 40K gtd - $6240
1st 20K gtd - $6113
4th highroller - $5362
6th 100R - $5116
4th 100 cubed - $4567
1st 17K gtd - $4287
2nd 18K gtd - $3984
1st 10K gtd - $3975
3rd 30K gtd - $3764
3rd 30K gtd - $3684
6th 100+R - $3665
12th 100R - $3628
2nd 21K gtd - $3420
3rd 27K gtd - $2940
3rd 20K gtd - $2300
6th 55+R - $2191
19th ipoker 250K gtd - $2000
59th 1M gtd - $2000
7th 100 cubed - $1692
7th 50K gtd - $1675
8th 40K gtd - $1441
4th 15K gtd - $1312
4th 33+R - $1222
7th 40K gtd - $1220
4th 10K rebuy - $1137
26th sunday brawl - $1120
23rd 200K gtd - $1100
7th 40K gtd - $1080
9th 50K gtd rebuy - $1054

Today I shipped the final amount owing on my apartment and am officially debt free!

It has been an absolutely sick month and I'm very happy about getting that weight off my shoulders.

I came 4th on Monday in the Full Tilt $1K for another $31K, to cap the month off nicely.

I have actually been super unlucky deep in a couple of other big tourneys this week too, ATs < T8o in 45bb pot with 11 left in a big 100R, and AQo < AQo in a 90bb pot on the bubble of today's 6max 100R...

Not gonna complain though!

Two more days to go and I will do a proper recap of the month and my plans for the future.

Weeeeeeeee!

Last night I played the Sundays.

I have decided to stop punishing myself as much and focus more on the majors; this week was my first time playing with a lighter schedule and I enjoyed it.

I only played things with 100K+ prize pool, and most of the time only had 4-9 tables going.

Didn't manage to get any magic happening although I came pretty close, 19th in the iPoker 250K when KK < AK on the river for a big pot and 23rd in Sunday Brawl when I pushed 44 into TT with 15bb.

No-one else high up in the Oct PLB race really did anything either so I'm a pretty big favourite now with only a few days left.

I was completely exhausted before the Sundays even started and I passed out right afterwards, which was a shame as it was an absolutely beautiful day - the weather is amazing here at this time of year.

I woke up from my slumber at 8pm, just before I was about to make my debut appearance on national television...

I took a look to see myself on the screen but I felt too embarassed to actually watch the whole thing ;[

They put it online so I'll watch it there later.

Saw Burn After Reading the other night.

I liked it, I can see why it's getting mixed reviews as it's very contemptuous towards its characters and essentially is a completely pointless tale, but... I do find irony and human stupidity pretty funny so it was a fun 90 minutes for me.

I went and bought a bunch of South Park dvds as well, there's heaps of eps I've never seen and I'm stocking up on stuff to do when I retire on November 1!

19 left in the $320 100K Gtd with $25K for first, I'm 2nd in chips and the field is very soft.

The only problem is that DJK123 is the chipleader, and he is probably the most aggressive player in all of online tournament poker... and he's on my table.

I have already 4-bet cold twice when he opened and a TAG threebet him, so I know he doesn't want to give me an inch for the rest of the tournament.

Because it's the final two table bubble we are playing five-handed... I get dealt AK on the button and he opens first to act.

I type in skype chat to group of friends "God this is so sick I have AK on the button and DJK just opened, he is gonna 4-bet me allin here with any two PLS WIN "

I threebet to 15555, he snapshoves for 110K loooooool.

I call he has 73o, flop 3 turn 7 nhwpgg, sigh.

Unfortunately though, I'm sorry to have to do this to you guys after I finally ran bad one time - but in the interest of full disclosure, I played 7 tournaments yesterday and won another one, the $75 40K gtd for $10,160 haha!

Sickest part is I nearly tanked it, as the 100+R which was the only tournament I was really playing for got 99 runners meaning it didn't count for TLB and had small prize pool...

I was honestly going to tank the 40K as it was my last tournament left, but then I ran hot for an orbit so I played it out instead and ended up winning... loooool.

Tomorrow and then the Mon/Tues 1Ks are the only real chance for people to catch me in the monthly leaderboard...

Can donks/regs who have been lazy this month win all the majors please just for this one weekend?

Looool. Tonight's scores:

1st in UB 30K Sniper - $8100 (and triple crown on p5!)
2nd in FT 21K Gtd - $3420 ($26 entry 1000 runners loool)
3rd in FT 27K Gtd - $2940 ($26 entry 1210 runners loool)
3rd in FT 30K Gtd - $3684 (had 50% of the chips in play with 5 left then came 3rd!)
6th in Stars 100+R - $3665 (love the early 100R, so soft)
6th in Stars 55+R - $2191 (love this tourney too)
9th in iPoker 55+R - $1000ish

Then also came 9th in some Ongame tourney and had a bunch of other small cashes.

Sickening night, not that many big tourneys on but I just kinda crushed lots of crappy tourneys into an absolute pulp until I finally won one.

I really wanted to get a triple crown on p5 because it stays there forever and I won't be putting in the same volume from next month on.

Same with the MPLB, I really want to win it for the month because I will probably never try to again.

Anyway just a brag post for now, definitely an epic where-to-next post coming in the next few days though.

God I run bad.

Shipped the Sunday $55+R on Stars tonight for $26K...

I don't know quite what to say anymore other than poker is fun at the moment.

I am ranked #1 in the online world for October, and plan to keep it that way until the month is done.

The two guys below me each won the Sunday Million this month, but neither of them grind that hard or ship stuff on the regular.

The only person that is a real threat is probably Stammdog, who is a really sick player and has been playing a lot.

Thankfully I have a big enough lead that someone who is already doing well needs to have a seriously filthy week to oust me (I'm talking like, three 5 figure scores or a 6 figure score and I brick the rest of the month).

In other news I busted the Main Event here in Melbourne in like the fourth hour or something.

Never really won a pot, and then I restole A8 for 24bb got snapcalled by a worse hand (KJ) and lost anyway.

Tonight I also went deep in the FT Million (64th) and UB 200K Gtd (23rd)...

Lost a massive flip for possibly the chiplead with 25 left in the UB, god I run bad

The best thing about the score was actually coming first - I've had some decent Sundays but never really came first in anything good.

I have a 2nd in Mulligan, 2nd in 200K gtd, 3rd in 200K gtd, 4th in Second Chance, 4th in the big 100R...

But no firsts on a Sunday bigger than Party High Roller.

So it was definitely pretty satisfying to come back from a 3.5 to 1 chip deficit to win.

Afterwards I went and had a sauna and a spa, then went out for a great meal, now it's time for sleep and then tomorrow I'm flying home to close out the month, ship a triple crown and the MPLB

Yesterday I went to Bond18's birthday drinks here in Melbourne.

A bunch of people met up at Belgian Beer Cafe, and we sat in the sun drinking and talking ****.

It was awesome, great weather and good conversation.

I wound up getting pretty drunk throughout the day, and deciding that playing in the $550 Bounty tournament at Crown that night would be fun :P

They made me one of the bounties, so anyone that busted me would get $500!

I never really got to see what the effect of being a bounty would be though, because on my direct left for almost the whole tourney was probably the only person who had drunk more than me during the day - that most royal of douchebags, Mark Vos.

Vos was raising every single hand (except when I limped, dammit!) and putting the sickest beats on people...

He beat AA allin pre with K4o, AQ allin pre with 76o for the biggest pot of the tourney at that point, then later guy shoved 15bb from sb, Vos snapcalled from bb and said "I have ace king man sorry", then rolled 52o and flopped 228!

It was pretty funny, he got a bunch of penalties for ridiculous behaviour and kept having to take 10 minute breaks, but then he'd come back and stack someone in sick fashion again.

Anyway the drinks that day were on his tab and he was sharing his bottle of wine with me during the tourney so I <3 Mark Vos.

I wound up FT bubbling - the structure was bad and we all had 15bb or less at the end, I got 66 allin pre vs AcT and it came Kc4c5, 6c... 9c

Main Event starts tomorrow, I'm mostly just here to relax though.

I get along with more people in the AU poker scene than I thought I would.

It makes playing live tourneys quite a lot of fun.

25/25/50 PLO has been running. I might go down and play tonight.

I want to, but things have been so smooth lately that maybe I should try and avoid the swings.

I'll see how I feel later on.

Yesterday I slept in too late to play tourneys but I still felt like playing after lunch.

I decided to lazily play a little cash, so I logged on to Party and played about 500 nonpeak hands of 5/10 and 10/20.

I snap-won 15K, including a $10K pot at 10/20 - with AT vs A6 on the board AT53 rainbow allin on the turn oldschool Party style...

Then, after hanging out with friends in the day/evening, I played the Sundays all night like the true degenerate I am.

I came 4th in Party High Roller for $5K early on, and FT bubbled a couple of smaller things for $1K type cashes, so I was freerolling by the end... and then I got 2nd in the UB 200K Gtd, for $27,000.

It was very disappointing losing HU, especially because the guy was psycho laggy, and I took a higher variance path vs him than I needed to, after being so patient the whole final table, plus he offered me a chop which always feels bad afterwards if you lose, even if you rationalise that you had an edge, and then also - if I won it I would have won a triple crown, which doesn't really mean anything but would still be cool...

But yeah who am I kidding?

I AM RUNNING LIKE JESUS WTF WTF WTF

I'm up like 45K USD since I last slept?

Been awake 36 hours now, I fly out to Melbourne in 24.

Heading over for some donkaments, should be fun.

Mortgage nearly slayed in a week, after I was getting all existential and worried and everything.

Poker is so weird.