Hey guys i dont know how many people are going to be reading this blog but i wanted to take the initive to make it for a few reasons. The first is that i want to hold myself accountable for everything that is important to me right now like poker, school, and just life in general. When you play poker or you find a niche that your really good at, your confidence unfortunately spews into other areas of life, making you more stuck up and less accountable (I make money in poker, why should i have to workout, and do school work like everyone else right?!?!?!?!). Also i think self reflecting is very important in order to further yourself as a better person, and more importantly honest introspection will be the best method. The last reason I am putting this blog up is for support. The time in college away from my family and all my best friends in california made me realize how important the support of your friends and family are in achieving your goals.
I remember when i had amazing grades in school, and i would play travel hockey about 4 times a week, and it all seemed so easy for me. Now i realize it was only because i wasnt alone, like i feel when im playing poker, totally alone. These days in poker it is like a war, its really competitve as the games start to get tougher and the number of regulars is smaller. Its like in class when your all graded on a curve and people are hesitant to share notes with you because it might negatively impact your scores. This is all part of the game and not a big deal, we all just obviously have to adapt but i cant image the golden days when there were plenty of bad players and i actually made friends playing poker and stuff ( i remember i met rob playing 2/4 randomly one day where we struck up a converstaion and started talking on aim about 2 years ago, slightly veiled brag i know). In poker everyone looks out for there own self interest though and i understand that.
So basically I want to start updating this blog more frequently and hopefully people will read it but im fine if people dont want to read it because its just a place for me to reflect. Let me say first off that i feel really good right now, and i feel like i finally have my head on my shoulders right, I was looking at my last post and i was just in awe at how upset and messed up i seemed at the time. It might have to do with the fact that i got mixed up with con artists and deadbeats and drug dealers and ****, either way my head feels clear now. Right now im starting to be a schedule oriented person and a goal oriented person, which is starting to pay big dividends since the last year or so ive been really lazy and ever since ive started getting good at poker my motivation ironically decreased 10 fold. Its really tough, and not a lot of people understand what its like to reach most of there poker goals at such a young age (seriously not trying to be condecending, just trying to reflect). I mean at that point what do you live for?. Its taking me some time and some soul searching but i feel like ive gotten some of my motivation back and it took me time to re evaluate my goals in poker after i felt like i accomplished most of them.
Also its sort of related but i also now feel that what you do away from the table (obviously maybe) is maybe more important than what you do on the table. Things like going tot he gym frequently to boost your self esteem, and hanging out with your friends on the weekend to build relationships and network, all of these things ive realized are almost as important to your bottom line as studying poker or playing poker at times, i used to think it was alll about the money but if you have no friends theres no one to share your sucess with. btw you should never feel that you are forced to play poker, if so your not playing optimally and probably should take a break. Anyway i feel pretty good right now. that was a lot of stuff and I look forward to blogging more, talking hands and such, i think it will be really beneficial.

p.s. I guess this wasnt really about poker at all so im going to put down my goals really fast, which are to make 50 k a month in cash games and put in 1-2 k hands in a day whether its Hu full ring or 6 max. I also want to get back into tournaments since i used to be really good at them and its easy to get a big edge, i also can get a little bored of just a straight grind all the time playing 6 max No limit holdem