Today was such a stupid day.

Before I begin, know that I did absolutely nothing but sit on my fat lazy ass and play poker, there is absolutely nothing positive to report.

I was going to try and take some time off from poker and grind Madden, but the last few days I've just wanted to play a lot since I got my new desktop setup.

Let's start with that. My computer is brand new, and I'm already complaining about it. First of all, I thought I got a sick vid card, but I guess there is no space for dual DVI or whatever so I can run something besides my 30" monitor. Great, I'll probably be off to Best Buy to get a new video card a week after I bought this computer. Completely stupid. It's also running kind of choppy. While I was 6 tabling HU, it randomly just freezes the arrow for a few seconds. Quite frustrating I'd say. Also, sometimes the keyboard doesn't work, specifically the backspace. I'll have to hit it 7 times to go back 4 spaces... just an Elton John level of gay.

I started off thinking that I'd break from poker and play Madden today, and then maybe do some interacting with real human people. That didn't work out so well, and randomly I begin playing some 5-10 6m because I am excited to try out HEM and I want to try 9 tabling for the first time in quite a while. I play for just a few minutes and I get an IM from someone who I love to multi-table, so I insta quit my tables and we start playing eventually. I think I was up like 3 buy ins at one point, and he was up a few buy ins at one point, and I don't remember what happened but we ended up just sort of breaking even. I'm sure I ran bad and played much better than he did, because I always do, but I can't remember an exact breakdown of this match because I played another one later in the day.

A few hours later I get another IM from someone who wants to 6 tables heads up. At this point I'm pretty sure it must be my birthday because I'm either going to make a bunch of real money or infinite Sklansky dollars, and either way I end up pretty happy. My birthday didn't go so well though. I got up a few buy ins, then over 5 buy ins, and somehow he won them all back. Well, not somehow, in a very distinct fashion: by getting it in pretty bad and having it come out smelling like roses.

I got two hands from the match, which, combined, are played well on approximately zero streets. I'm pretty sure that a monkey clicking buttons would have figured out at least one street, or one bet size, to make almost correct. But alas, most people who play 25-50 are not as smart as monkeys, trust me:

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HAND #1
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Full Tilt Poker, $25/$50 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 2 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter

Hero (SB): $26,892.50
BB: $5,549

Pre-Flop: A A dealt to Hero (SB)
Hero raises to $100, BB raises to $550, Hero calls $450

Flop: ($1,100) 9 7 3 (2 Players)
BB bets $700, Hero calls $700

Turn: ($2,500) 3 (2 Players)
BB checks, Hero bets $1,175, BB raises to $4,299 and is All-In, Hero calls $3,124

River: ($11,098) 9 (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

Results: $11,098 Pot ($0.50 Rake)
Hero showed A A (two pair, Aces and Nines) and LOST (-$5,549 NET)
BB showed T 9 (a full house, Nines full of Threes) and WON $11,097.50 (+$5,548.50 NET)




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HAND #2
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Full Tilt Poker, $25/$50 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 2 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter

SB: $18,854.50
Hero (BB): $10,553.75

Pre-Flop: K K dealt to Hero (BB)
SB raises to $150, Hero raises to $550, SB calls $400

Flop: ($1,100) 6 Q 2 (2 Players)
Hero bets $575, SB calls $575

Turn: ($2,250) 8 (2 Players)
Hero checks, SB bets $1,700, Hero raises to $5,425, SB calls $3,725

River: ($13,100) 9 (2 Players)
Hero bets $4,003.75 and is All-In, SB calls $4,003.75

Results: $21,107.50 Pot ($0.50 Rake)
SB showed K A (a flush, Ace high) and WON $21,107 (+$10,553.25 NET)
Hero showed K K (a pair of Kings) and LOST (-$10,553.75 NET)

Those gems weren't really back to back or anything, but they ended up putting me down in the scheme of things. I also played a bunch of other gay pots, where I get supercoolered preflop or something cool, or we both hit runner runner flushes and his it higher! Lots of fun ones today.

I guess I should be more thankful, as I only broke even or lost a few thousand on the day. Cool I guess. I shouldn't complain too much since I won a couple buy ins at 200-400 the other day with Benyamine, but when I put this many hands in in a single day with the game conditions so amazing, I guess I expect to get rewarded for it. Sometimes I feel like I can't win at poker, and other times I feel like I can't lose; it's funny how the game works that way.

So I guess I'll just get another mansion on Sklansky-island, break my new stupid computer, and eat Harvest Cheddar sun chips and Vanilla Wafers until I explode.