Made a pretty sick comeback in October after getting stuck huge early on. But every time i seemed to punch in the positive side of $, I would lose 10k in a span of an hour or two. I lost 22k at 10-20 over the month, and ended basically even on the month.
Poker seems to be a game of wills, who can fight to stay sane through the many roller coaster mind fks we experience over sessions, days, months. I generally deal pretty well with a 1 or two day raping, But a month or two of pain wears on me.
I have been super lucky this year and have a pretty low variance year. October was my first breakeven/losing month in well over a year. Any of my months in the last year where I put in pathetic volume I seemed to run like god. And months where i was running poorly i grinding my ass off and got lucky to force out some decent months.
It really doesn't take much of a bad run for a pro to become a broke degen, A couple months of runbad, some tough real life issues, or a combination of both can be just deadly.
It's important to try and separate poker results from how you feel mentally/emotionally. If i win 10k in a day that should not entitle me to feel any more special that day, or entitle me to go out and blow 500 on something I don't need. On the flip side, I should not feel like a worthless degenerate piece of shit after losing 15k in an afternoon. I should not sit in the grocery store isle debating whether not to I should buy the bland NoName ketchup, or pony up the extra $1 for the good stuff just becuase I happen to be stuck that week.
I try to separate swings from daily live/ well being. Living with my fiancee forces me to act like a normal human being. Its unacceptable for me to act like an asshole to her in the evening becuase I buried myself in the afternoon. Of course sometimes i slip, but I always try to be aware of my lifetilt, and know the real reason why pissed off about something meaningless. This helps to avoid falling into the same trap in the future.