Leggo peoples,

I apologize for being so out of the scene, I've been busy and my mind has been preoccupied. As I sit here I'm reflecting on the last year. I'm trying to put it all into context; the good, the bad and the fugly (I am unashamed to say I hooked up with a few of each this year) In any case, I'm at this intense crossroads. After graduating college last spring and spending last year in Flip-Flip-Phlipadelphia I have decided to spend the next few months with my family in Chapel Hill, NC. Poker has been a big part of my life for the last few years, and I can honestly say that it has empowered me to do great things and taught me a lot that goes well beyond the game, itself. It's taken me to Jamaica, Russia and Israel among other places. It bought me my most prized possession, my carbon fiber giant TCR one racing bike and it let me enjoy the collegesque life for an extra year at U Penn. But I have not been able to realize the poker goals that I made for myself at this time a year ago.

It is not without some sadness that I make an ultimatum. If I don't make $15,000 in the next three months I will cease to refer to myself as a professional poker player and will diligently begin looking for career opportunities and/or academic possibilities. Generally, I would scorn the results oriented thinking that such a personal prop belies. But in this case, I just can't justify continuing to dedicate myself to a pursuit that I can't very well put on a resume, and that has been a tremendous source of frustration of late. It's just not good enough to be making the minimum that I need to live on the bottom end range of the ballin life. There are too many other ways to accomplish such and too much else out there to risk ignoring.

What brought me to the Golden Gate (suicide) bridge of poker you ask? Well if we talk on a daily basis I've been complaining about it to you with more gusto and enthusiasm than I have mustered up for any of my other pursuits... My apologies to my friends for that.

For the edification of the rest, this was how May went:



For those of you counting, that's about 5.2k under EV or around 2150 big blinds. The stakes involved were primarily nl200 with approximately equal parts of nl100/400.

Unfortunately a lot of the year has been like this. Besides two huge months and a smattering of really big days/weeks that have kept me going financially and mentally, my year has consisted of what I perceive as an absolute shit ton of AIDS-style runbad. So while I have just an iota of poker enthusiasm remaining in the good poker vibes bank, I'm gonna give the next three months the fucking absolute best I can muster. I'm starting a new graph in order to try to imagine a fresh start. Wish me luck fellow masochists!

P.S. for all my students, I will fulfill the terms of any agreements we made. Despite my lackluster results lately, I'm oddly feeling more secure than ever about my overall understanding of the game. So I'm going to try harder than ever to help you succeed.