I'm so pissed off right now. I'm absolutely hating poker and not having much motivation to play. March has been super lame.

March 1st - Bankroll = $3600 - playing a mix of .25/.50 and .50/1

Cashout $1500 to pay some bills.

Play poker up until today. Some .50/1 but mostly .25/.50

Current bankroll = $930.

So my bankroll is 1/4 what it was at the start of the month. Granted I took out $1500, but I've still lost $1200.
Just looked at my stats actually.
Broken down it's:
-$259 at NL200 that I took a stab at on March 1st just before cash out. 112 hands
-$447 at NL100. 6000 hands.
-$404 at NL50. 8000 hands.
+$10 at NL25. 148 hands.

I'm just not motivated to play. Tired of grinding. The cashout curse got me again. I haven't cashed out in forever and now I do and hit a gayswing. I really tried to mentally prevent this from happening this time, but alas it was not the case.
I just deposited $68 that I had sitting in moneybookers to reactivate the pokerstars boomswitch. I wanted to curse at them but there was no comments field when making the deposit. I wish there was.

I've got 88522 hands in HEM since mid-december. I'm currently running $630 below $EV in HEM. Anyways poker is gay and depressing.

Life is pretty good. I've been working out lots. Eating somewhat well, hanging out with friends, watching hockey games, hitting on chics, and getting drunk. It's 330am and I just cracked a bottle of wine and am going to get drunk now. Talked to my hot ass friend I met in Australia and she is coming home in a week so I'm pretty stoked. I'm going to buy a vehicle this week I think. I've been getting around town on my bike, which hasn't been bad, but it's pretty weak not to have a vehicle. So I'm probably going to put about $5000 towards a truck.

I'm going away next week with the army for a one week excercise in some ****ty, desolate, remote area. Usually I'm not so keen on these excercises in the cold canadian winter, but I'm looking forward to this one since it should be a good break from the grind, and also cause I haven't really been in the field since Afghanistan in August 2007.

That's when I got back from 6 months in that ****hole country. I promptly took a 6-month leave, which is the max allotable time from the army, and proceeded to be gone for 13 months. I had to return because they were going to kick me out, but they let me vastly over extend my alloted leave cause I could easily claim PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)

I'm trying to think what I want to do. I was thinking I was going to play poker for the next little while, get some good cash and then who knows. But right now that's not even fun. Grinding NL100 sucks, let alone NL50.

I've thought about going to Japan to teach, and do Japanese girls. And eat sushi and drink ridiculous amounts of sake.

I also might get a vehicle and just drive somewhere. Right now I'm thinking Montreal.

Hopefully the next update is better. I'm going to get drunk and watch last week's episode of the office.

p.s. oh ya, i live in a hotel, and tomorrow is the day i get my room cleaned. the maids usually come around 11am when i'm completely dead to the world passed out on top of all my clothes. earlier today i thought i'd try to be out of the place around 10, but clearly that's not going to happen. i don't know what they think of me. but i gave the little filipino ***** $5 last week so she should be happy.