Hey guys! about 3-4 month ago ive opened a thread: http://www.leggopoker.com/forums/psy...lem-18309.html , and i would like to say a few words about that here.

I would like to say that opening that thread was the biggest step i made, after that things really started to move. In the thread i mentioned that it would prob be a good idea to get a professional help...writing that down really encouraged me to search a little over the internet, and i quickly found a private psychologist, and signed in to a therapy (I dont have a mental illness i need to cure, but i do have things that are holding me back in life in general...of course that also include my poker performance). So I will first talk about that a little.
with my therapist we first talked about poker...like why do i want to play poker, what do i want to achive with it, will it make me happy when i achieve what i wanted, why would it make me happy, is it only because of money, where do i see myself in 5 years, what amount of money would i like to have accumulated by then, what limits would i like to achieve in that time...and man...Im playing poker now for 7 years and i just couldnt answer to any of those questions...my answers was only: hmm...well...mmmm...its hard to say...hmm...i dont....mmm... I guess some players dont need to work so much on visualization, and planing and that stuff and can still be very successful, but for other players who are struggling with motivational problems might be a good idea to work on questions like this, and on visualization and that kind of stuff. So far if i sum up those 4 sessions i had with my therapist, i found 3 important facts (problems i need to work on).
1. after i worked a bit on my goals and what do i want to achieve in 5 years, we than had a little exercise...she told me to sit back, relax, and try to visualize myself as a good poker player, im trying hard, and everything is going fine, im setting myself goals and im reaching them, im pushing it further, im constantly playing relatively good game, and am constantly improving, and again everything is going as i imagined, and so on...until after 5 years i came to where i set my goals (accumulate 300000€, im a good poker player, and other players respect me)...than the important question was: how do you feel now? does that make you happy? and man...i really can emagine myself achieve that goal...but tbh im really not sure if that is what i want, and if that will make me happy...
2. is money really a good motivation? she said to me: lets say you have 2000€ every month just to spend, you cant do nothing else with them but to spend them. what would you do with them? and again, my mind was blank. I just couldnt think of anything i would buy to myself. I have a home, i have a motorbike, i dont need a car, so i really dont know what else do i need? that is a huge problem, because if i dont know what do do with money that means i cant reward myself, and if i cant reward myself than how the f... can i sustain being positively motivated??? its just not going to work...I mean my main motivation for playing poker is money, but i dont know what to do with money besides i want to accumulate it so i dont have to worry for the future. and that alone is not enough. I need to give myself small rewards more occasionally, so i get a positive feedback for my hard work! if i dont get positive feedback its impossible to stay motivated. So i need to work on that. An exercise she gave me was to write down 100 things i would like to have or to do, or places i would like to go or anything like that. and let me say...THAT IS HARD for me...ive came to 10 or so so far...
3. One more important thing that is holding me back is: i could be successful in many areas, specially in my speciality witch is engineer in electrotechnics. i love science, i love engineering, i spend my childhood in garage fixing (or better) breaking up my and my friends motorbikes, so that is one thing i could be more passionate about. so when i spend my days(years) behind computer playing some retard game that some young people thinks is the most important thing in life, it feels depressing thinking about how im wasting my life for this game instead of doing something im passionate about just because i can make a few times more €/h. anyway...sometimes i feel that way, and sometimes i actually enjoy and love playing poker. what my psychiatrist suggested me was when i feel like im neglecting other areas, i shouldnt try to depress that, but i should focus on that area. in practice that means if i feel like playing poker, i should do that, but when the fact that i havent finished my diploma starts to hunt me, i should focus on that. And that is also one of the reason i decided to move poker on a side trail for a while and i got myself a job for a while.
Anyway since i cant say ive fixed my problems with my therapist so far, i know what areas i need to work on. So overall i can say i am very happy ive signed in to her therapy...unfortunately i had to cut future sessions, cause of a job i got, but i will probably continue when i finish working abroad.

As i said, 3 weeks ago i got an opportunity to go to work in germany as en electrotechnic with 2 other friends of mine, and i toked it! for the first 2 weeks we wore working in koln airport constructing a conveyor belt system for UPS, now i got home for 1 week, and next week im leaving in stuttgart, to work in porsche factory for next 5 weeks. I decided do go to work after 2 most successful month in my poker career, because i started to loose confidence in my game a bit, even tilted et the end, got a bit tired from poker, and felt like...well...im avoiding to go to work and finish my diploma for the last 6 years, partially also because i was avoiding social confrontations, so this felt like a perfect timing, to go out and confront some things ive been avoiding for so long. Before i left i said to myself that i will try to be a good worker, will not try to avoid social confrontations, and conflicts between coworkers and bosses, but will face them no meter what! and im very surprised and satisfied with how things are going so far, and im planing to maintain that for the next 5 weeks! Also i hope i can get some good "material" in next 5 weeks so i can use it for my diploma!

and for the end a few words about poker! since i joined leggo, and make a "my mental problem" thread, this are the results:

I must say I havent play poker now for more then a month, and i feel great! it feels so good to actually have a social life (work), but i wont stop playing it! I will prob start to play again in stuttgart (will be staying in hotel that does have an internet connection), witch was not the case in koln last 2 weeks. that is if i wont be to tired from work...but i feel like i will again enjoy poker when i start to play again, since im having such a long break now.

Thats it for now...see ya again soon i hope

yeah...1/3 of month has pass, and ive decided to make a little report.

since i borrowed 200€ at 20th april, ive run pretty damn hot, and i also played well (last 8k was more or less my top game). Im glad that ive joined this site, and start to work on my game an also on myself.



I think that this kind of upswings have many positive effects on players, but it also have a few negative as well. In my game in a lest few sessions Ive noticed this negative effects: focus dropped a bit from the tables, and in some spots my mind is like..."well i run so good, and im so much better than he is, i can afford this call or shove"...even if i know that might not be a good idea. so i can say my ego is starting to effect me in a negative way. another thing is my sessions are starting to get shorter (it just feels so good to end session in + that as soon as i win some i start thinking about ending sessions), and I more and more often have to check how does THAT DAMN GRAPH LOOKS LIKE...and somewhere down there is also some kind of fear of when is it going to turn...

anyway...ive always suffered this effects quite heavily, so i hope writing this down will help me fight it. basically the the plan for future sessions is to focus on improving my geme cause i think this is a good way to get distracted from being result oriented, and just keep pushing!

So, according to plan i gave to myself last week, ive played 28 hours of poker and watch a coaching video almost everyday.

from all the videos ive watched so far, ive learned about the importance of studying the game besides playing instead of only playing. I have watched a few videos previous year on another coaching site, but i havent learned much from it (i kind of felt like...yeah, i know all that, but couldnt really understand all the agressive plays coaches wore making in the videos). So this time ive watched videos more focused and open minded, and i realized that my game is far from as good as i thought it was, and that i need to start working more on improving.

anyway...here are results from previous week




Yeah...ive run pretty sick ...most of profits is there due to good run, and despite of very good results im not to happy with my game. Ive made some terrible terrible tilted plays (usually a snapcal when i knew im beaten) almost every session, so my mental "strongness" is still far from what i would like it to be, but on other hand i was generally playing better than i was previous 2 month when i was in a downswing. I was more focused on trying to play hands optimal, and in some tough spots i asked myself...what would some coach say in this situation, and that helped me to find a good answer sometines, and sometimes (to many times) i just ran out of time and ended up folding instead of call/rasing or somethink like that. And i found that that happens to often in my game. Ive never heard or read about this problem, and am asking myself if other players have similar problems? I mean ive noticed that when i found myself in a complicated situations (when there are many things to consider), and look at how much time i have, im almost always toast. instead of thinking about the hand, my only thought is omg...i dont have enough time...hmm...shit...shit, and there it is.. a mental block!!! not sure how to deal with it, but i guess my "blocking" will diminish as my game will improve.

Next thing i noticed about my game while ive watched some videos is that i almost never make 3rd barrel as bluff, and I never raise river as bluff. and i also thought that regs at nl50/100 dont do that (raise river for bluff) so i never was bluffcatching river raise against reg. I wasnt doing that alot because for 3rd barrel i think its essential to have a good idea of what are villains possible holding, what he might fold, for what price, and what can I represent. My efficiency at those spots is not to good i guess, partially because there are many things to consider and it gets a little more complicated, and like i said it is often tough for me because i feel pressurised by the time limit, partialy because I never plan 3rd barrel on previous streets (ive noticed from videos that coaches usually plan those plays ahead), and partially because i dont have enough confidence for that kind of lines. I guess I will have to focus a bit more on those spots to improve and raise confidence...So lets try to find some spots i was in...

http://www.cardrunners.com/pokertool...770382/replay/

Villain:22/17/3

I think cbet is more or less standard. his call open is 10% so i guess that means low pockets, some suited conectors, and some broadway. against Cbet hill prob fold low pockets, and continue with most other holdings (pair+gutter/over, FD, SD...). now as i think once more...does it have any sense to make 2nd barell on turn since his prob calling most of his range (maybe he folds 9T or FD or something like that if i bet big). and it is prob a god idea to also think about what to do on river (what are good river scare cards so i can 3 barrel bluff if i dont improve? ...hm prb only A? what if blank hits? should i still make a 3rd barrel, and hope to get folds from FD, 9x...) and what size should river bet be? hm... still not quite sure if im happy with my play. river was a scare card...im not to worried aobut comp FD since thats not big part of his range, but looks scary to him. i guess i can make him fold some 89, 9T, 9A, TT, TQ... and got called/raised by JQ, JK, JA, maibe some sets trips, overpairs... (though he prob rase those on turn). so if I make 2/3 bet i need about 40% FE, so i think i would do that again...maibe bet little bigger like 14,5...

http://www.cardrunners.com/pokertool...973132/replay/

on this one i called PF to invite fish on BB along. Villain is a reg 24/18/2,2, but only now as i am reviewing hand i see he is a fishy reg, cause he doesnt fold to 3bet (30%), and doesnt fold to flop/turn/river cbet (33/14/0), WTSD 45%...2k semple. anyway on this flop i assume im ahead of prob 2/3 of his range (behind pockets, sets, 9A, 9T..., and ahead of other overcards, FDs...). So i make Cbet for value (acording to his folding tendencies i could get value from most of his range), and i can maybe also make him to fold low pockets on later streets (should prob continue on any overcard). I dont like that turn (improves his range), but ok, i fired again (not sure if thats ok though), and i would prob again have to consider what to do on river (witch i obv havent)! but if i think now...hm...not sure, tough spot. If he was a normal reg i guess its a standard 2nd barrel, with possible river shove (again not sure on what river cards...if J+ hits it could be a good card as we can rep it, but it allso hits some of his range...so not sure...) Anyway river blank, and i decidet to shot again (get him to fold some pockets(77,88, prob not TT,), 6A, 9x, some backdoor busted FD, and get called/raised by sets, TT+, some 9x, Qx, flush...So again im not sure if im happy with my play, specially against this opponont (prob ok against other regs). It was a huge downer for me when that son of a maggot showed me his hand, and i felt really bad, cause i very rarely chose to fire river as i did, and its like theyre reading me like a book ) but as i thik of it now, it prob wasnt such a stupid play...

Anyway those 2 hands are just a bit to show what i was talking about, and how do i aproach this kind of problems. I hope i can get some feedback, and some corrections on my aproach.

i was thinking about posting more hands today (some of my big mistakes, and some other hands i marked...), but im starting to be a bit tired now. I guess thats it for first report.

Plans for the following month:

-from now i will play NL50, and NL100 (have to add NL100 mainley for the sake of expanding player pool, cause on ipoker on workdays its a bit hard to find good fishes at any time, so adding 100 helps alot. but will have to be cautious with deep 100 cause my BR is pretty aggro. and will prob only buyin as much as i need to cover a fish)
-I plan to play 100h of poker (will be a bit tough, as it will be my pb)
-try to play my best!
-focus only on the game (about that...im aware that upswing always had a negative impact on my game...ive become somehow a bit reckless, sloppy, and the biggest danger of all is fear of when its going to turn. its like after decent upswings im just waiting for the downswing to come witch than effect my game...so...

Ok, here goes nothing

Plan for this week:
-playing 20h of poker NL50 6max (2 sessions/day)
-playing up to 4-5, maybe 6 tables...as usual
-play the best game i can! (focus mostly on the game, but try to avoid over-thinking, and also try to avoid mental blocking in hard "bigpot" spots because of fear or anxiety)
-improving my game by watching...lets say 5 coaching videos (1/day hopefully...)
-review my game and post some results by the end of the week
-maybe post some hands that will bug me.
-try to keep it simple and fun! (yeah...right )


Ive never made a plan like this, so it will be interesting so see what will come out of this crazy little "experiment" . Thats it for now. Hopefully i will be able to post some positive results by the end of the week.