I think today was my worst day since going full-time with poker. I definitely spewed in spots, and I definitely got pumped over and over again. I was pretty happy with myself for doing my best to keep my tilt level down and not shout/break anything.

Upon quitting and feeling uber tilted, I decided to take a walk and venture into the mexican back streets at 1am. I was somewhat nervous but in my tilted state, I was almost hoping for confrontation. Besides a few dogs barking and startling the shit out of me, nothing happened lol. I actually found some run good at the coke machine, getting 2 Cokes for 1.

After getting home, I was left to sit and debate why I felt so pissed. Really the only thing that I could thing of was just that I lost 2k in the pure dollar amount tilt type w/e. I can't really be mad at the beats, was maybe only a little mad at my play, and I consider myself beyond the "I deserve to win I'm better than all these donks blah blah". I know poker doesn't owe me anything.

I tried the whole blame it on EV thing, which is LOL imo. Moral of the story is stop bitching, be a pro. I think today is lockdown mode time, gonna go ahead and ban myself from 2/4+ for a while and probably go into rakeback pro mode for a couple weeks.

Going Dutchman style, Nuey out.