I’m having the most horrific time at the tables. It's just relentless. When will it end? It seems every time I blog about how things are going well the poker gods come around and give me a good assfucking for bragging or getting complacent

I've dropped the best part of Thirteen Thousand Pounds in just over a month, aka my roll.

I've had more than my fair share of horrific downswing’s/breakeven stretches but this has been by far the worst...

Almost every time I play I'm getting hammered for a lot of money, in the past I'm like meh this is just another string of bad beats it'll pass (5months later...)

This last month though oh my god. Its not even in the same league as been card dead/situation dead/ sucked out on repeatdily. Every time I bet a made hand or raise I get shoved on by better and have to fold if I'm not already all in. The game is just designed for me to lose atm, I have never experienced or seen anything like it!

I mean the majority of this has happened in a 1/1 live game £13K WTF!

I can't speak to my family about it because they just don't get it.£13.000 to them... they wouldn't speak to me again they'd just asume im an asshole and I've squandered it gambling. Well where the fuck do you think I've got that money from in the first place? I've told my girlfriend I'm taking one hell of a beating at the moment but she has never wanted to know about my wins/losses or how much I've bought in for.
*EDIT* Fair enough I have some debts that I created before I started winning, +I used to play house games frequently. But I''ve spent a lot on just living expenses and having a good time in the last ~5 years or so. I rarely stay in and cook.. I'm a fish for eating out, and I dont even want to think how much I've spent getting paro.

Twice in one night I ran the NUT HOUSE into quads, the second time I had QT on a QT88Q board and he donked £110 into me after I'd bet two streets and I could just feel that I was beat ad he had quads but how is it correct not to raise there? But I thought about it and I fucking knew it..

Fair enough I didn’t fold, I leant back on the excuse of this is incorrect to not raise. A lot of people wouldn’t even think about it though. I don't care how many times the correct play is raise that one time is a fold. It is incorrect to raise because I can feel it in my gut.. that river donk is trouble. And this is why I know I’m so much better than so many other players. Who gives a fuck if I can't beat 10NL? I have never applied myself to online because I feel like It's never where I want to be I give up such a massive edge in not being able to talk to people and observe their mannerisms whilst only playing 100bb stacks.

Live poker has beaten the fuck out of me lately. I must be sick in the head to keep going and going back for more> WTF is wrong with me? Like I'm just barely even winning any pots at all and I'm having so many big hands.

I cant recall how many Q+flushes I've had to bet fold or raise fold vs truly awful players. Sure I haven’t been playing my A game but there’s only a few pots where I can feel I'm beat but haven’t given them up. I should have gone busto a fair few sessions before now. I should also have a fair few sessions left in me where I've flipped off the last bits of what was my stack instead of leaving or not having found the fold.

I said I was a lock to win 5K why did I tempt fate? I can't stress how sick this has been...
I bought an Ipad2 (LOL @ blowing £500 half was through this downswing to get off life tilt) to watch training videos on whilst I grind live or travel. I have watched a decent amount but the plan of jumping into 100 or 200NL has been kissed good bye.

I've got a bit of money on stars, I've played 7500hands of 10NL 4 tabling so I can focus on each table/player and I’m running atrociously on there as well. I want to beat 6max so I can steadily build up a roll and then move to where the biggest live cash games are and crush them because my edge is so much more magnified than it is online. Im working hard again.

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!