after a few roundabouts, you would think i would learn

now i must open this first post with a slight background of my game. i started playing seriously when i met aejones in college. he tried to take me under his wing but i thought he was awful and never listened. after living with him for a year, i saw how sick he was but he never did make the offer twice and i sure regret it, but that is neither here nor there. he used to be the best at giving me 5$ for random **** like laundry, running to get him food etc. Now he can attest that at least 5 times in one night, i would run the 5$ up to like 1k and then piss it all away the next day, never cashing out, never having br management. at one point, he staked me for a 24+2 in which i finsihed 2nd for a cool 4900 and 2450 which went back to aaron. again, pissed all away with no profit. fast forward 4 yrs now and to tonight. won a free 5$ from a stupid freeroll on stars and ran it up to like 255$ playing so ****ing solid to build to 50 real fast then crushing the hu punks at .25/.50 and didnt help finding the biggest fish who folded i kid you not in 300 hands, his bb every hand, but would make it 2$ every button and never fold if i 3 bet and he never 4 betted. it was so easy. After getting up after playing for like 3 hrs, you would think i would cal it quits, even after telling aaron i need stars for live cash.

but no, i decide to sit two tables of .50-1 and just run beyond awful. ran aa into jj preflop for stacks only to get 4 card flushed which insued in me breaking my window. i'll have to call the landlord bout that one.

then was running good on another table, got up to about 350 and guy was awful and said come play 3/6 so i said fine, he bought in for like 550 which i think was his roll.. basically i run like the worst person in the world only to get it in preflop with aces to kings and flop come out AKK. at this point i just ran outa my room.

i can't take it anymore. i have buddies who recreationally play who win like 50$ a day and quit and i just cant do that, i love the game too much but know if i am rolled i can crush these games.

idk i just want to finish school and start my 50k job i got offered this summer.

doesnt help i have bells palsy randomly and taking 11 pills a day and cant smile

**** my life