I ended up getting back to Minnesota on the 31st because I had a 4 team dual meet on Saturday the 3rd in Colby, Kansas that turned out to be a single dual mmet for me because 2 of the teams didn't have 125lber's. I ended up winning my match 7-6 after hitting a fireman and getting my arm deep enough around his waist to get 3 back points. Unfortunately, I wrestled bery sloppy on bottom and it was not like me to be that gassed while in a match. We have a scatter of dual meets in the next few weeks and I am pretty pumped after practicing today.

I chose to relax on Sunday and watch half of the Dolphins game and some of the Vikings games. Both my teams lost and I went 0-4 on predictions for the weekend and got that capped off by giving my coach 5-1 for his $20 and San Diego with 0 points given. I'm a nice guy and a junkie. I was actually trying to find a way for my teammate to turn off the ****ty music that is eminem and anything else that is on the radio and the $60ish bucks in EV I gave away was well worth not listening to the bull**** for 3 hours on our van ride back.

Today was a great day because I woke up at 7am and felt 100%. I also felt like doing some chores and was in such a cheery mood that I took $160k offline for some of financial plans I have and to help pay for my sister's drumcore deal that costs a bunch of money. I think she said that she will be doing a lot of travelling and having a bunch of competitions and obviously I'm going to help because this is what she does as her hobby. I sat for about 6 hours on 2 tables of hu NLH, hu PLO, and hu HA where I got an assortment of action and made $40k while running pretty well, Being motivated tends to make poker players play sharper and with the new year starting I guess I'm trying pretty hard to not have that first screw up. It's still a bad spot for me to be playing Hastings or South at plo or ha but I already implemented the 4 buyin stoploss vs a hu opponent that I've implemented twice! so far this year. Frustrating to lose 4 buyins to someone, but 2 minutes later I'm telling myself "Ship the the extra buyin or two of EV that I would have lost because I WOULD have taken the spewier and worst lines for sure."

At 4pm I had wrestling practice which went very well. I got there early and did 30 minutes of running which was followed by 2 hours of live wrestling where I did not get taken down or reversed the whole time. I had an extra gear today where I went harder than I normally would and felt great and in control while doing so. 30 minutes before practice ended I took a knee to the lip and it didn't end pretty. See below.

I know that I'm headed in the right direction. Doing things the right way will pay off dividends in the future. How will I react when things go oppositely well? That's a question I ask myself and have mentally already have begun to prepare, mostly preparing for the time when multiple areas of my life aren't how I want them to be. Today was one of those days though where everything was what I wanted it to be and I sort of had a year-ago-today flashback after grinding 6 hours of poker on a Monday morning. 2008 results soon although I'm getting the feeling that I will get the doomswitch like circa August/Spetember.

Today!


Lip was Leaking : \

What a year 2008 was for me. I'm so proud of myself for putting the checkmark on a lot of significant goals that I had going into 2008. To recap the year, I started it with $40k and wanted to make $500k and be one of the best HU NL players in online poker. Some lesser goals were to start writing a blog, make videos for a poker training site, learn PLO. The coolest part about 2008 for me was that I decided to go back to school and actually continue wrestling which is definitely my greatest passion.

I believe I'm am a very ambitious person and obviously it helps when your goals are set high or when you are in a postion that you don't like. For me, I hated being just ordinary. I told myself at the begininng of the year that I can be where I want to be and that dedication to all aspects of poker and life will yield equivalent results. I still believe that now because, I think I got what I deserved.

Looking back and looking forward is a lot of fun. I get so excited when I think about how my progression will pan out. I have high expectations and there's no reason why I can't have a high enough improvement rate to be at nosebleeds by say summer of '10. After all, a year and a half ago from now I went from being straight-up busto to playing high stakes regularly. I guess it matters if the games will be the same or how my improvement is compared to players in my stakes and around me. Even with the huge failure that is September of '08, I feel like I did things almost the right way for what my goals were. Obviously, I shouldn't have played Stud or Omaha 8/b. I think I lost close to the amount that I ended up making in '08 by playing these games. Having a 4-buyin stop loss would have been another great idea if I had to redo '08 as I believe I played worse while in -4 zone and that my opponents tended to play better while in the +4 zone.

So far '09 I've told myself that I want to make $3 million dollars and I can care less if that's way too high. I'm not stupid enough to play worse just so I can reach my goals so it doesn't matter to me if I set a borderline unrealistic goal. I want to master my hu plo and remaster my hu nl games. There's no reason why I'm not fit for this or that I'm incapable of this and these are games where I feel I'm best suited for, have the most understanding of, and have the deepest desire to get good at for the time being. Other smaller goals include continuing to be drug/alcohol free, be a National qualifier for the 08-09 season, transfer to UTC(Tennessee-Chattanooga) or another wrestling school in the Southeast, and progress relationship with Lauren. Also, getting on a steady sleep schedule is a solid idea. 2008 results soon when I get back to my second house.

So a week or so ago it was like 5 am int he morning and I watched Sauce play hu plo and get stuck guge fast against this guy Mafews who was playing ok but was coolering Sauce. Sauce comes back and was up a little and then lost it back in some pretty ****ty spots like set over setting in a 4 bet pot. Sauce comes back and just stampedes this guy. I was so pumped watching this unfold and inspired me to play this game as I think the game caters to my style.

So early this morning where the spewers always emerge and even where good players go to get unstuck I see that Mafews guy sitting at $25/50 hu plo and I sat in and we 4 tabled. It was a bloodbath right from the get go and I was just doing my thing playing selectively aggressive and getting in some fortunate spots where he always choose the line with the most gamble and it was always the worst line for him. I ended up winning $60k or so in an hour. I'm so inspired to get razor sharp at this game, but it seems like games are scarce.

Turn was a ****ty spot as always but he was in autobet mode and was bluffing way too much. I can rep a couple different kinds of bluffs on the river so I just potted it instead of CRing.

FullTiltPoker Game #9625006129: Table Bear (heads up) - $25/$50 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 5:35:06 ET - 2008/12/22
Seat 1: theASHMAN103 ($16,066)
Seat 2: Mafews ($10,818.50)
Mafews posts the small blind of $25
theASHMAN103 posts the big blind of $50
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [8s 2s Ah Jd]
Mafews raises to $150
theASHMAN103 raises to $450
Mafews calls $300
*** FLOP *** [4c 9s Ac]
theASHMAN103 bets $650
Mafews calls $650
*** TURN *** [4c 9s Ac] [2d]
theASHMAN103 has 15 seconds left to act
theASHMAN103 checks
Mafews bets $2,000
theASHMAN103 has 15 seconds left to act
theASHMAN103 calls $2,000
*** RIVER *** [4c 9s Ac 2d] [2h]
theASHMAN103 has 15 seconds left to act
theASHMAN103 bets $6,200
Mafews calls $6,200
*** SHOW DOWN ***
theASHMAN103 shows [8s 2s Ah Jd] a full house, Twos full of Aces
Mafews mucks
theASHMAN103 wins the pot ($18,599.50) with a full house, Twos full of Aces
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $18,600 | Rake $0.50
Board: [4c 9s Ac 2d 2h]
Seat 1: theASHMAN103 (big blind) showed [8s 2s Ah Jd] and won ($18,599.50) with a full house, Twos full of Aces
Seat 2: Mafews (small blind) mucked [3c 5d 9c Kd] - a straight, Five high

Pf is never a fold or 4-bet and I bluff raise this flop so much for me to gay raise to induce from bluffs or other medium strength hands that would otherwise shutdown if I flat.

FullTiltPoker Game #9625015385: Table Roil (heads up) - $25/$50 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 5:36:27 ET - 2008/12/22
Seat 1: theASHMAN103 ($13,020)
Seat 2: Mafews ($8,747.50)
theASHMAN103 posts the small blind of $25
Mafews posts the big blind of $50
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [4s 7s Ad Kd]
theASHMAN103 has 15 seconds left to act
theASHMAN103 raises to $150
Mafews raises to $450
theASHMAN103 calls $300
*** FLOP *** [7h 4c 4h]
Mafews bets $600
theASHMAN103 has 15 seconds left to act
theASHMAN103 raises to $1,750
Mafews raises to $6,150
theASHMAN103 raises to $12,570, and is all in
Mafews calls $2,147.50, and is all in
theASHMAN103 shows [4s 7s Ad Kd]
Mafews shows [8s Kh 6h 5s]
Uncalled bet of $4,272.50 returned to theASHMAN103
*** TURN *** [7h 4c 4h] [Jh]
*** RIVER *** [7h 4c 4h Jh] [5h]
theASHMAN103 shows a full house, Fours full of Sevens
Mafews shows a flush, King high
theASHMAN103 wins the pot ($17,494.50) with a full house, Fours full of Sevens
Mafews is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $17,495 | Rake $0.50
Board: [7h 4c 4h Jh 5h]
Seat 1: theASHMAN103 (small blind) showed [4s 7s Ad Kd] and won ($17,494.50) with a full house, Fours full of Sevens
Seat 2: Mafews (big blind) showed [8s Kh 6h 5s] and lost with a flush, King high

Boring standard hand where I win a 57/43.

FullTiltPoker Game #9625272239: Table Roil (heads up) - $25/$50 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 6:13:48 ET - 2008/12/22
Seat 1: theASHMAN103 ($30,631.50)
Seat 2: Mafews ($6,621)
Mafews posts the small blind of $25
theASHMAN103 posts the big blind of $50
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [Js 9c 7h 8s]
Mafews raises to $150
theASHMAN103 has 15 seconds left to act
theASHMAN103 raises to $450
Mafews calls $300
*** FLOP *** [2s 9d 6c]
theASHMAN103 has 15 seconds left to act
theASHMAN103 bets $650
Mafews raises to $2,850
theASHMAN103 raises to $9,300
Mafews calls $3,321, and is all in
theASHMAN103 shows [Js 9c 7h 8s]
Mafews shows [6d 2d 3c 7c]
Uncalled bet of $3,129 returned to theASHMAN103
*** TURN *** [2s 9d 6c] [5c]
*** RIVER *** [2s 9d 6c 5c] [7s]
theASHMAN103 shows a straight, Nine high
Mafews shows two pair, Sevens and Sixes
theASHMAN103 wins the pot ($13,241.50) with a straight, Nine high
Mafews is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $13,242 | Rake $0.50
Board: [2s 9d 6c 5c 7s]
Seat 1: theASHMAN103 (big blind) showed [Js 9c 7h 8s] and won ($13,241.50) with a straight, Nine high
Seat 2: Mafews (small blind) showed [6d 2d 3c 7c] and lost with two pair, Sevens and Sixes

I really hate posting this one but for comedic value I will.

FullTiltPoker Game #9624827732: Table Bear (heads up) - $25/$50 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 5:09:37 ET - 2008/12/22
Seat 1: theASHMAN103 ($5,748.50)
Seat 2: Mafews ($9,597.50)
Mafews posts the small blind of $25
theASHMAN103 posts the big blind of $50
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [3s Qs Kc Kd]
Mafews has 15 seconds left to act
Mafews raises to $150
theASHMAN103 raises to $450
Mafews raises to $1,350
theASHMAN103 has 15 seconds left to act
theASHMAN103 raises to $4,050
Mafews calls $2,700
*** FLOP *** [Ks 9c Ah]
theASHMAN103 bets $1,698.50, and is all in
Mafews calls $1,698.50
theASHMAN103 shows [3s Qs Kc Kd]
Mafews shows [7c Jd 9d 7h]
*** TURN *** [Ks 9c Ah] [8h]
*** RIVER *** [Ks 9c Ah 8h] [As]
theASHMAN103 shows a full house, Kings full of Aces
Mafews shows two pair, Aces and Nines
theASHMAN103 wins the pot ($11,496.50) with a full house, Kings full of Aces
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $11,497 | Rake $0.50
Board: [Ks 9c Ah 8h As]
Seat 1: theASHMAN103 (big blind) showed [3s Qs Kc Kd] and won ($11,496.50) with a full house, Kings full of Aces
Seat 2: Mafews (small blind) showed [7c Jd 9d 7h] and lost with two pair, Aces and Nines

Flop is the easiest C/F ever for him imo and PF is beyond bad. My line is fine and it's nice to be up against K hi.

FullTiltPoker Game #9625312501:...

Today I won $56k off ADZ who is just a complete nutcase. I was lucky enough to get to play him between 4-9 tables the past few days and for the first 90% of our hands it involved me betting or raising and him folding damn near 3/4 of the hands. Obviously I didn't let up and then he just went off the deep end. I bet he was just high or drunken out of his mind early this morning because he spewed it off good and fast. I also won $28k in the $25/50 cap plo games running well. No comments about the hands just me running well and him playing bad = PROFIT!
I'm pretty sure I fell out of my chair laughing after hand 4 and I had a good chuckle when he told me that he wants me to remember him smiling when my parents die.

------------
Hand 1
------------

***** Hand History for Game 22871664872 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Saturday, December 13, 03:35:20 ET 2008
Table Phaetusa (Real Money)
Seat 4 is the button
Seat 3: ADZ124 ( $5147.50 USD )
Seat 4: theASHMAN103 ( $6721.50 USD )
theASHMAN103 posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
ADZ124 posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Ks Qd ]
theASHMAN103 raises [$75.00 USD]
ADZ124 raises [$400.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$350.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qh, Td, Js ]
ADZ124 bets [$4697.50 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$4697.50 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8h ]
** Dealing River ** [ 4d ]
ADZ124 shows [Kd, 6d ]
theASHMAN103 shows [Ks, Qd ]
theASHMAN103 wins $10294.00 USD from main pot


----------------
Hand 2
----------------
***** Hand History for Game 22872166236 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Saturday, December 13, 04:21:29 ET 2008
Table Nikko (Real Money)
Seat 4 is the button
Seat 3: ADZ124 ( $4923.00 USD )
Seat 4: theASHMAN103 ( $10768.00 USD )
theASHMAN103 posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
ADZ124 posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Ks Kc ]
theASHMAN103 raises [$75.00 USD]
ADZ124 raises [$500.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$1100.00 USD]
ADZ124 calls [$650.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qc, 2d, 5c ]
ADZ124 checks
theASHMAN103 bets [$850.00 USD]
ADZ124 raises [$3723.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$2873.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 4c ]
** Dealing River ** [ Kh ]
ADZ124 shows [9s, Qd ]
theASHMAN103 shows [Ks, Kc ]
theASHMAN103 wins $9845.00 USD from main pot



--------------
Hand 3
--------------
***** Hand History for Game 22871963463 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Saturday, December 13, 04:02:51 ET 2008
Table Meges (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Seat 3: ADZ124 ( $4917.00 USD )
Seat 4: theASHMAN103 ( $5969.00 USD )
ADZ124 posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
theASHMAN103 posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ As Kd ]
ADZ124 raises [$125.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$450.00 USD]
ADZ124 raises [$1250.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$5469.00 USD]
ADZ124 calls [$3517.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ts, 2d, 2s ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 4s ]
** Dealing River ** [ 3s ]
theASHMAN103 shows [As, Kd ]
theASHMAN103 wins $9833.00 USD from main pot
ADZ124 doesn't show [Qd, Qc ]
theASHMAN103 wins $1052.00 USD from main pot


-------------
Hand 4
-------------
***** Hand History for Game 22872229294 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Saturday, December 13, 04:27:20 ET 2008
Table Wempe (Real Money)
Seat 4 is the button
Seat 3: ADZ124 ( $4998.00 USD )
Seat 4: theASHMAN103 ( $13979.00 USD )
theASHMAN103 posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
ADZ124 posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Qh 9h ]
theASHMAN103 raises [$75.00 USD]
ADZ124 raises [$400.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$350.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2h, Ah, 6d ]
ADZ124 bets [$700.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$13529.00 USD]
ADZ124 calls [$3848.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 6c ]
** Dealing River ** [ 9c ]
ADZ124 shows [Jh, Kh ]
theASHMAN103 shows [Qh, 9h ]
theASHMAN103 wins $9995.00 USD from main pot
theASHMAN103 wins $8981.00 USD from main pot


---------------
Hand 5
---------------

***** Hand History for Game 22872042824 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Saturday, December 13, 04:10:06 ET 2008
Table Nikko (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Seat 3: ADZ124 ( $4875.00 USD )
Seat 4: theASHMAN103 ( $5771.00 USD )
ADZ124 posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
theASHMAN103 posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Kh Ks ]
ADZ124 raises [$125.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$450.00 USD]
ADZ124 raises [$1300.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$5271.00 USD]
ADZ124 calls [$3425.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6c, 2d, 5h ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8c ]
** Dealing River ** [ 9h ]
theASHMAN103 shows [Kh, Ks ]
theASHMAN103 wins $9749.00 USD from main pot
ADZ124 doesn't show [Ac, Kc ]
theASHMAN103 wins $896.00 USD from main pot


-------------
Hand 6
-------------
***** Hand History for Game 22872082646 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Saturday, December 13, 04:13:47 ET 2008
Table Wempe (Real Money)
Seat 4 is the button
Seat 3: ADZ124 ( $4799.00 USD )
Seat 4: theASHMAN103 ( $9157.00 USD )
theASHMAN103 posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
ADZ124 posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Ac Qd ]
theASHMAN103 raises [$75.00 USD]
ADZ124 raises [$400.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$350.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 5s, 3d, 4c ]
ADZ124 checks
theASHMAN103 checks
** Dealing Turn ** [ Qc ]
ADZ124 bets [$744.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$744.00 USD]
** Dealing River ** [ 9h ]
ADZ124 bets [$3605.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$3605.00 USD]
ADZ124 shows [Tc, Kc ]
theASHMAN103 shows [Ac, Qd ]
theASHMAN103 wins $9597.00 USD from main pot

--------------
Hand 7
--------------
***** Hand History for Game 22873130097 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Saturday, December 13, 05:43:41 ET 2008
Table Pia (Real Money)
Seat 7 is the button
Seat 6: ADZ124 ( $4748.00 USD )
Seat 7: theASHMAN103 ( $5250.00 USD )
theASHMAN103 posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
ADZ124 posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Tc Ac ]
theASHMAN103 raises [$75.00 USD]
ADZ124 calls [$50.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Kc, 2h, 6c ]
ADZ124 checks
theASHMAN103 bets [$150.00 USD]
ADZ124 raises [$450.00 USD]
theASHMAN103...

If you are unaware I made a prop bet that can be found in the HSNL **** thread where I can't play $50/100+ before I make $500k. I guess I'm cutting myself off or I will pay a very high consequence. This is the way it's got to be and if I plan on winning I'm going to be at $5/10-$25/50 for a very while.

I was born exactly 20 years ago today!! I don't think it means anything significant to me but daydreaming about all the events that have happened to me in these 20 years is sort of the beauty of a birthday. I do a lot of daydreaming actually. I do a lot of the "If I could start living from that point on" and think of every little thing I would do different. I love the things in life where you would still not know what you would do if you had to relive. That's the beauty of living and keeps me sharp when I feel dull. Somehow it motivates me to be unlazy and to not live a life that I would regret but I regress as most everyone does a day later or so. This is the primetime of my life and I think that deep thinking is a tool I've used my whole life to improve my life.

It's sad that my teenage years are over but I still feel almost the same. For my birthday I received a box of goodies sent by my mother a bunch of my favorite things like gummi bears, Mike and Ike's, and honey roasted peanuts. My favorite things. : ]

I put in 12k hands or so in mostly at $5k hu nl to start the month and won about $75k running about even on the coolers and luck end. Fortunately I was up like $30k on the staking end of things thanks to SUSSS'!!(Sauce) run yestersday at railheaven and other endeavors. All in all I played pretty damn solid all week and it felt like I was immune to anything tilt inducing. I ended up playing all kinds of good and great players and managed to pull off this type of result which makes me somewhat proud of. I mean I'm happy about this week but somehow I'm not content. There's just so much to accomplish for the skill level I think I have and the potential I have. Still plenty of money to make, people to beat, levels to move up and such that it feels like this week was a drop in a bottle. I also did almost none of my priorities and schoolwork. It's 11 PM right now and I've got a bunch of papers and other stuff to do but can't muster up the motivation to get it done. I hate this feeling, I hate doing papers! I don't know how to balance and when I am sitting down on the computer it seems damn near impossible to get these things done. If I got these things done it would help me focus at poker knowing I'm free in the back of my head. This feeling drained me all week and not to mention I twisted my knee on Wednesday and strained my MCL which forced me to sit out for the first meet back from a broken finger. So my next meet isn't until January 4th and begins the hell that is the second half of the season. I feel like I'm running bad at wrestling but hope that it evens out for the 2nd half of the season where it matters the most. Christmas time is coming up and I have to find awesome gifts fo family which is the rewards one gets from winning a lot of money at a card game.

Highlight of week for weird and stupid reasons : \

***** Hand History for Game 9328453261 *****
$10000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, December 05, 12:54:29 ET 2008
Table Hood (deep hu) (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Seat 1: FLIPokeHer ( $30237.50 USD )
Seat 2: theASHMAN103 ( $35147.00 USD )
FLIPokeHer posts small blind [$50.00 USD].
theASHMAN103 posts big blind [$100.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Ts 8s ]
FLIPokeHer raises [$250.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$200.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7s, Ad, 6h ]
theASHMAN103 checks
FLIPokeHer bets [$500.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$1750.00 USD]
FLIPokeHer calls [$1250.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 5c ]
theASHMAN103 bets [$2850.00 USD]
FLIPokeHer calls [$2850.00 USD]
** Dealing River ** [ 8d ]
theASHMAN103 bets [$6950.00 USD]
FLIPokeHer folds
theASHMAN103 wins $6950.00 USD
theASHMAN103 wins $9799.50 USD from main pot

The wrestling meet on wednesday got cancelled so I got a flight home Wednesday morning which was so great. Thanksgiving went as planned and it was more of a relaxing day of hanging out with cousins, aunts, uncles and my 2 grandmas. I love everryone there and life would be great if every day was Thanksgiving. On Friday I drove up to Gainesville with my little cousin Matthew and followed my Sister, cousin, and gf behind her ****ty hyunda or however you spell that pos. Obviously it breaks down as soon as we drop are cousins off in Gainesville. An hour later a tow truck comes and takes the hunkajunk off and we drove 2 more hours to Tallahassee. Sister decided to sleep in this time period and Lauren and I talked for 2 hours about school and such. I liked her more than I did after hearing her thoughts on things. She's graceful.

The game was miserable because it was puring rain and windy for 3.5 hours. Obviously Florida owns and the highlight of being there was standing front row with a sister who goes to FSU and a gf who is best friends with sister and attends UF. Listening to the retarded FSU fans was priceless as well. Redneck tards. Lauren and I drove home after the game and I was too tired to last and she took over for the last hour and a half of the 6 hour drive. Not so much talking this time as we both slept when the other person was driving : ]

November went OK but would have been great if it wasn't for the -200k railheaven spaz out. It feels so long ago since I had that huge rush way back in August and frankly I don't care if I never experience that again. Since August it has felt like a weird dream and a lot of that has to do with how much my life changed. I spent a year at home in a routine with a small/mid stakes BR and then went from home to freezing cold Minnesota away from family and then had a high/ almost nosebleed bankroll. Something went wrong along the way. The problem when you build up fast is that there is almost an equivalent chance that you drop it back in the same manner. Basically that's what happened to me and most likely would happen to anyone who accumulated so much money in such a short period of time. I think about it, but I have forgotten about it in a sense. I'm ready to move on and rebuild or experience whatever fate has for me. I know the games I should be playing and I know how to beat these games. Time will tell.

I was forced to sitout for 2 weeks and wasn't able to wrestle at any tournaments because of my broken finger. Pretty substantial setback considering all my opponents are getting in a bunch of matches and live wrestling whereas I have to sit on the sidelines for the meets and not go full contact during practice. Right now my finger is holding up solid and I'm aiming to get back in for the tournament at Moorehead in 2 weeks which is our next one. I have been getting a lot of running in and I guess te brightside is that my body should be rested and ready for the long road that is the next 3 months. It doesn't feel the same when I've gone to practice lately because I'm not wrestling. It sort of feels like I'm hibernating, but I don't want to. My mind wants to sleep and eat and relax but conciously I'm trying to break that and get sharp again. It's a ****ty feeling.

I got the Memoirs of Aejones Series(Gay name) and so far the concepts advised are producing superior results circa MOAS as far as 6-max is concerned. The polarized 3 betting range tat is advised was something I wasn't applying before, but I realize why the advised 3-betting range is the nuts. My PF game is improving but I am starting to realize how easy and routine the game is. I guess I could make a slow and steady cashflow at $5/10 if I feel my HU and CAP PLO games aren't as profitable.

"Wah wah" "I hate poker" "I can't win" Ut Oh!! I think I'm coming to this. Such a beauty and a devil of a game, I swear. I've put in about 150k hands the past 2 months in games I'm very good at and almost definately +EV in only to bleed a dollar a hand. Recently I figured out how to lump my PS and FTP screennames together in HEM only to find out that I'm running $450k below in Allin pots over 900k hands or something. I also put all of my Omaha hands into the original PokerEV to find out I was running $550k below EV in Showdown pots over 200k hands or so. I mean the old pokerev could be way off and meaningless but the HEM stuff is 100% legit -$450k of pure run bad. Honestly I'm only saying this because I've been struggling to make money lately and I would be A.O.K if I ws running terrible and still winning. I mean outside of the Railheaven shot that didn't work this month I'm up like $10k or so over 40k hands. However, I have been playing NL and CAP PLO(I crush both, see below), so the light is there.

I go home on Thursday morning to spend Thanksgiving weekend with my family and have 4 tickets to the FSU/UF game on Saturday with my GF, sister and another person undecided. They are pretty close to each and GF goes to UF and sister goes to FSU so we are going to have a great time. I'm hoping that fate won't allow me to play a single hand of poker this after Wednesday and give me the break I need.

All-time CAP results

I wasted just about $19,587 on the river by betting because the extra $87 comes from the -EV I get from folding the best hand which imo is close to never. Meh he doesn't call with worse more than better on a river 8. FAIL.


-------------
Hand 1
--------------

***** Hand History for Game 8832967903 *****
$100000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Wednesday, November 05, 11:51:29 ET 2008
Table GusHeaven (6 max) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 2: theASHMAN103 ( $100999.50 USD )
Seat 5: David Benyamine ( $74998.00 USD )
theASHMAN103 posts small blind [$500.00 USD].
David Benyamine posts big blind [$1000.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Kh Kd ]
theASHMAN103 raises [$1500.00 USD]
David Benyamine calls [$1000.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 9s, 3d, Jc ]
David Benyamine checks
theASHMAN103 bets [$3500.00 USD]
David Benyamine calls [$3500.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Ad ]
David Benyamine checks
theASHMAN103 bets [$8000.00 USD]
David Benyamine calls [$8000.00 USD]
** Dealing River ** [ 8c ]
David Benyamine checks
theASHMAN103 bets [$19500.00 USD]
David Benyamine raises [$61498.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 folds
David Benyamine wins $41998.00 USD
David Benyamine wins $65999.50 USD from main pot


I spewed off according to some hs players whose opinions I value. Pretty standard for me to be beat when I flop split 2 pair. I guess the turn is a fold and believe it or not flop is debatable but I don't care to elaborate.
-------------
Hand 2
-------------
***** Hand History for Game 8833116977 *****
$100000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, November 06, 12:02:26 ET 2008
Table GusHeaven (6 max) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 2: theASHMAN103 ( $136498.50 USD )
Seat 5: David Benyamine ( $76495.00 USD )
theASHMAN103 posts small blind [$500.00 USD].
David Benyamine posts big blind [$1000.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ 7h 8c ]
theASHMAN103 raises [$1500.00 USD]
David Benyamine calls [$1000.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 8s, Td, 7s ]
David Benyamine checks
theASHMAN103 bets [$3000.00 USD]
David Benyamine raises [$9000.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 calls [$6000.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3d ]
David Benyamine bets [$15000.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$125498.50 USD]
David Benyamine calls [$50495.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 shows [7h, 8c ]
David Benyamine shows [Jh, 9c ]
theASHMAN103 wins $60003.50 USD
** Dealing River ** [ Ad ]
David Benyamine wins $152989.50 USD from main pot


As soon as I sit out next big blind I get into what is a great spot for me in the long run due to how often Trex is going to be 4bet/folding with air or 4bet/calling with worse. Unfortunately he had the ole TT and I bricked and left.
------------
Hand 3
------------

***** Hand History for Game 8833357059 *****
$100000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, November 06, 12:20:19 ET 2008
Table GusHeaven (6 max) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 2: theASHMAN103 ( $123795.00 USD )
Seat 4: David Benefield ( $62798.00 USD )
Seat 5: David Benyamine ( $119388.50 USD )
Seat 6: trex313 ( $96998.00 USD )
David Benefield posts small blind [$500.00 USD].
David Benyamine posts big blind [$1000.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ Ac Kc ]
trex313 raises [$3000.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$8500.00 USD]
David Benefield folds
David Benyamine folds
trex313 raises [$21800.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$115295.00 USD]
trex313 calls [$72198.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 shows [Ac, Kc ]
trex313 shows [Td, Ts ]
theASHMAN103 wins $26797.00 USD
** Dealing Flop ** [ 5h, 7d, 4s ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Tc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 5d ]
trex313 wins $195494.00 USD from main pot

Hand today where it was Gus' 3rd hand and of course David gets spoon fed the gravy. **** is getting old. All day everyday against me.
------------
Hand 4
------------

***** Hand History for Game 8862473378 *****
$100000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, November 07, 10:33:19 ET 2008
Table GusHeaven (6 max) (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Seat 2: David Benyamine ( $141933.00 USD )
Seat 3: Gus Hansen ( $56497.00 USD )
Seat 4: theASHMAN103 ( $49000.00 USD )
Seat 5: LarsLuzak ( $91508.90 USD )
Seat 6: jimmie23 ( $43830.00 USD )
theASHMAN103 posts small blind [$500.00 USD].
LarsLuzak posts big blind [$1000.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to theASHMAN103 [ 8d 8h ]
jimmie23 folds
David Benyamine raises [$3500.00 USD]
Gus Hansen calls [$3500.00 USD]
theASHMAN103 raises [$48500.00 USD]
LarsLuzak folds
David Benyamine raises [$91000.00 USD]
Gus Hansen folds
David Benyamine shows [Ad, Ac ]
theASHMAN103 shows [8d, 8h ]
David Benyamine wins $45500.00 USD
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ts, Td, 6d ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 4d ]
** Dealing River ** [ Kd ]
David Benyamine wins $102497.00 USD from main pot

Pfff.-$200k very fast, but I guess I decided to go for it after winning $80k at plo the first week of November. Sooner or later I'll run as good as David is although I shouldn't have that mindse it's hard not to. Decided to be a pig and eat everything in sight after this loss so I guess this poker thing is getting to me. : \

To lighten my mood I woke up today threw on a shirt and pants only to walk outside into what was a white storm that is snow. I've never seen snow IRL before and seeing it IRL is dreamy and soothing. If you were unaware snow is very cold and don't grab it with your bare hands. It lightened my ****ty mood although I feel a change coming over me. The money swings have taken a toll on me and I'd imagine the swings I've had would change everyone. I take risks. I live with the results of these risks and don't go nuts or inflate my head when I win and I try to keep the same way when I lose. However, lately I'm feeling the hurting of losing more and more and I just need to focus and being the best player I can be at all times which is all I can do or strive for. I say to myself to not let the past derail me from being the best player I can be but when you are in the heat of the battle it is hard to do what is best for you. I guess that is all I can say about the problems I have. However, for the time being I'm going to believe that my talent is there and I will try to ride that.

Haha. I've been teased a lot by people who think I look like Frodo, but I definately have an edge on him. On what was supposed to be a light day of weight cutting for the meet the next day, I unkowingly broke my right pinkie ad it ended up swelling and throbbing fast. Rewing to a year and a half ago where I cut half of my right pinkie off with a chisel and ended up tearing the tendon in my hand after I decided to stubbornly continue wrestling with it cut open. 3 months after that I had surgery to repair the tendon that didn't go well and left with with a hook pinkie that would not straighten.

Friday night was a disaster. I rolled around in bed in pain and couldn't sleep fro either me being nervous, unsure of if I was wrestling the next day, and my stupid roommates were pounding on the walls. Ended laying down at 6:15 pm annd going to bed at 2:15 am. Hopeless feeling is not being to sleep when you want to. Wake up at 4:15 am and drive 90 miles North and lose 1.5 lbs running to make weight 1 hour before weighins. The next 2 hours before wrestling started was the highlight of my weekend sort of. If I haven't said it before I get really nervous anticipating anything that means a lot to me. The anticipation is worse than the real thing. Cliche but it's the real damn truth. It's been something that's haunted me in the past and caused me to wrestle bad andjust not enjoy life in general. However, in that 2 hour window I hit a nirvana type point where my mind just flowed and was focused. Hard to put into words but it was just an incredible focus and I was undoubtful of what I would do. After taping up my hand into what was a minicast I basically went out there and wrestled a kid from University of Sioux Falls who was quick and solid and lost to him 17-9. I kept moving the whole match and got several reversals but made way to many mistakes and was sloppy basically. My next match I took the tape off my hand and wrestled a kid from Rochester who was very strong and quick but not so great on technique and won 15-6.

The following match was against a short and strong kid from Minnesota(Mankato) State. He wrestled defensively and he set the tone for a low scoring low paced match which was probably better suited for him. He kept his elbows in tight and didn't allow much room for me to hit shots or other stuff. In the 30 seconds of the first period he took a good shot, I countered nicely and was about to score until he cleared his head and kept moving to get behind me to go up 2-0. In the 2nd period I got an escape and we stayed on our feet the whole time to end the period. In the 3rd period I was down 2-1 ith 2 minutes left and decided to try to ride him out for the whole 2 minutes which would earn me a point because of having a +1 minute edge on riding time. I rode pretty tough mostly crashing his hips and then sticking in a leg while eating up time. With 30 seconds left he popped his hips out and forced me to grap a leg and hold on. We continued scrambling and if he got free he would have won, but I ended up holding his leg with my left hand and right 3 fingers as the clock hit 0:00. Overtime. Nothing happened in the first 40 seconds of overtime but with 20 seconds left he got in deep on a hot and I countered by somersaulting and grabbing a leg, holding on and we went into double overtime where we each had 30 second periods of bottom and most points would win. I was on top first and rode the toughest I rode the whole match and had the opportunity to just get a simple escape to win(freeroll...almost). I ended up doing a lazy standup and got chopped down and was left on bottom to end the period. With 40 seconds left in the third overtime on our feet he hit a quick duck under and beat me. : \

Afterwards, I was pretty disppointed and slightly embarassed I didn't win. I put that much effort into conditioning and should have come out in my 30 second bottom start like a bull...literally. I was 100% positive my hand was ****ed and limited but who cares I had my chances. Those 3 OT wrestling matches are so much better than winning $50k or $100k in a day. Granted the both of us aren't great wrestlers at the college level, I'm sure we put almost our hearts into training for that day and the slighest bit of extra training on my part could have won me the match. I had a blast.

I was in a ton of pain on Sunday and the only thing I got done was sitting on the computer and grinding away a $70k day at $5/10-$50/100 cap plo. Aaron witnessed me in God mode and I took pleasure in listening to him whine about it. My hand was still in pain today so I decided to go the E.R where they told me my finger was broken. I'm unsure of what my options or plan is but it will probably involve me gritting my teeth and conitnuing being a ****ing cowboy. the worst part is I can't grab anything so I'm pretty limited as to what I can do on the mat. I'm also unsure that smart>tough when it comes to wrestling or maybe anything.