i ended march on a 10k downswing and it kind of crippled my confidence. while i reviewed the hands almost a week ago and felt most things were standard, i'll look to go over them again when the weekend rolls around and see if i still feel the same way.

march ended with me making about 4k. which is kind of disappointing. luckily i ran good on the stock market and i think i almost made 10k total for the month so whatever. shouldnt put too much pressure on myself to make an excessive amount of money or anything since making 5k and making 15k doesnt really change my standard of living but it does add extra stress and pressure.

no graphs cause its heartbreaking to look at. maybe after i get back on the tables and grind my way out of the downswing!

so for the past 4 or 5 days my routine has looked something like this.

0700 wake up
0800 get to school
1200 get home from school
1230 start watching lost
0030 stop watching lost

i've watched 73 episodes of lost since saturday and i have to say its the most frustrating terrible train wreck of a show that i cant stop watching.

i just finished season 3 and if it wasnt for the fact i have a huge assignment due on friday and an exam tomorrow i'd probably be a complete degenerate and sit and continue watching till i get completely caught up.

it was a feel sorry for myself feeling on friday or so and i decided ok lets start watching tv. so i watched a few episodes online via streaming and that caused massive life tilt as i didnt want to leave bed but wouldnt bring myself to my desktop so i could stream episodes on two computers. the silly megavideo site has a 72 min limit of free streaming every 2 hours so i'd be stuck watching 1 3/4 of an episode at a time. i gave in and just went to the store and bought all 4 seasons mid saturday.

buying dvds. what a waste of money.

however if i stop to think about it. its now april and me buying 4 seasons of lost was the first time this year i spent money on something that wasnt food or parking for school.

god i am such a life nit.

anyways, let me rant a bit about lost. it appears to be a good show and all. its been well reviewed over the years and people seem to like it. but i always have mixed feeligns about jj abrahms after he completely butchered and destroyed alias and turned it from a decently entertaining show into a huge pile of donkey poo. every episode of lost feels the same. 24 minutes of adventures on the beach and 18 minutes of flashbacks involving one of the characters showing us how tragic and crappy their lives were leading up the getting stuck on the island. i feel sorry for the average person who tunes into this show on a weekly basis on television as they are also exposed to 18 minutes of commercials ontop of the 42 minutes of drooling mess that is lost.

the show itself is kinda predictable. this might be because ive subjected myself to what would resemble a slow painful brainwashing technique. some of the plot twists are alright. some of them are terrible. im sure it is all supposed to make sense when you look at the complete picture, but right now, i want to cut my wrists.

i cant stop watching either. i have to use the trainwreck analogy. its like im driving down the street and there was a horrible train wreck on the side of the street. no matter how terrible or tragic or remotely moving the view might be, i cant bring myself to look away.

none of the characters are overly interesting. the lead female chick is remotely attractive, but unlike veronica mars and kristen bell, her character is so flawed and for lack of a better word, 'typical' that i dont even find her attractive. a few of the other characters have moments, albiet far and few between and with each passing episode i find myself asking more and more questions. among them include why the freaking hell did i start watching this show.

there are people to blame for this mess.

they know who they are.

it feels like im getting payback for that little prank i pulled online several years ago. where i went on this huge rant to everyone i know that the movie 'ultraviolet' with milla jovovich was the best action movie ever and that everyone and their mom should watch that masterpiece before they died. a lot pf innocent people feel for this and ended up watching that movie. may god have mercy on their souls.

im so so sorry.

well, i better pry myself away and start studying. despite march being a horrible month financially. school has been exceptionally well, so i guess i shouldnt complain too much.