I realized I hadnt posted on this blog in like a year almost, so I thought id update.

Im obviously still not playing as much as i should. For the first half of 2009 I was basically breakeven, owning 50nl then failing on all 100nl shots. Over the summer i stayed in a house in vegas with some dudes, and one of them Hockeyav (on leggo) sat down with me and we reviewed basically everything you can look at in my holdem manager. We found alot of spots I was basically bleeding money. Since then, Ive fixed as much up as I can, and im pretty happy with my progress the last few months.

just wish i would get myself to put in more hands. I looked at my HeM and realized I only have ~70 hours in the last 3 months lol


well heres the month so far. plz to continue?

So, the south carolina weekend is over, and it was awesome. Theres like 3 other blogs that will prob have pics and whatnot, maybe ill post some later.

But now, I have a film project due tuesday at 8am, that we were just told all the footage we had could not be used. So now we have to do the whole thing from shooting to editing in one day lol. fml

This is probably gonna be way too long for anyone to read, lol, but I feel like ranting.

Rarrr, Its been a rough week or so in the world of poker. Not totally downswonging, but just not ever seeming to be in winning spots. Ive been playing poker a very long time. When I was 8 I used to sneak handfuls of quarters out of my Dads coin jar and play limit (lollimit) 5 card draw with whoever I happened to have over. The one thing thats always interested me about it is the mental aspect of the whole game. This is of course good and bad.

For one, I dont think this game would be very interesting without the whole "get inside the other persons head" aspect. But theres a whole other side to the world of poker. And thats whats in YOUR head. Ive always been just like everyone else when hitting rough patches in poker. "Its not me, its them". I think its actually taken me 14 years to realize that some things are my fault. Its the same story with everyone who downswings. Something in our minds change, and for all I know, we may not have any control over it. Tilt is one thing, but just the idea of making a few mistakes that are hugely -EV and not even being able to realize it is what Im talking about.

I think the thing that separates the great from the good/solid/average/mediocre/losing is all mind control. Its the experience to KNOW that cards will fall how they fall, and its up to you, and only you, to "rise above". I can say with near certainty, that everyone is affected without knowing it, and Im beginning to find a little arrogance and ignorance in myself whenever I try to blame other things. Im just tired of being where I am in poker. I cant help but always feel like their are so many better things I could be doing with my time. Sure, I know I can be profitable at 100nl. To a lot of people, thats a great, great thing. And it is! But, dropping any form of modesty I might have lol, I just always feel like I can do better, and I NEED to do better. Its just a weird spot to be in to know you need to think differently about the game, but not really know how to get there.

I would actually consider most downswings a blessing. No, Im not crazy, I swear! However, every time I hit a tough spot, I really learn more about my game than I ever have before. Its a hefty price to pay, but it always comes back. I spent the better half of 2007 working on tilt issues. I never hit or break things, or anything like that. I just try to win all my money back in as few hands as possible. "OMG the fish might leave, better try and triple barrel bluff him now". Stupid. It took a considerable downswing, which upon reviewing, I learned was basically all from tilt and no variance, for me to really open up to controlling myself. I remember the downswing completely, and I remember sitting there thinking, IF I COULD JUST ****ING HIT. Sad that still, at this point in time, I am saying the same things. Since then (this occurred last summer) I have just had a much more calm approach, and have even been quitting well. Sure, I mess up sometimes, but its WAY better than before. Basically, I paid about 23 bis to gain knowledge that has probably saved me ten times that since. My hope is that this current realization will allow me to prosper as well. I just need to focus on mind over matter. Not tilt, just focusing on finding leaks that I so obviously have, and also learning to plug those leaks. Variance can not be my scapegoat anymore, and I wont force it to be from here on. (I may regret putting this in writing when Im *****ing in another month or so lol). My new focus on this month, outside of hand volume, is to lose the notion of results. Im a chronic HM and cashier checker. There, I admitted it, thats the first step right? For the rest of this month, I will be using the hand counter on the site, and checking my cashier once every sunday, just to see if its time for another 100 shot. Outside of that, I am removing the $ from HM (I think thats possible). I want to review hands, not results, and the time is now.

Outside of silly realizations, I just need to focus on improving again, like I did once upon a time. Im very fortunate to have come across various poker forums. Not because I like the actual posts, which I do, but because Ive met a ton of awesome people, both online and irl thru the sites. Putting aside just the access to a vast world of poker knowledge, Ive met alot of people like me, and the life +EV of it all is awesome.

Meh, Ill post about life at a later date, I think Im over doing this atm lol.
-PJo
sorry for spelling errors and whatnot, Im just ranting and I dont believe in apostrophes.

Yo. This is my first blog, and with schoolwork and what not I may not get to post as often as others, but I'll try and keep it interesting.

Thru the end of the summer and beginning of fall I was at 400nl on ftp, getting totally owned. Well, breaking even really. I decided to take a bit of a break and focus on schoolwork and fun (im getting my best grades ever so far, no surprise I guess). But Obviously I felt the urge to get back into it, probably because I am now flat broke. So in November I started back on the grind. I deposited 750 bucks and am sitting around 1800 after my first 20kish hands. Ive already taken one failed shot at 100, but ill be back there soon.

My real goals on this start over are to alter my discipline altogether. My biggest month ever in terms of volume is 20k hands, which is pretty sad. Im at 4k hands this month already and plan on playing over 40k this month to get the ball rolling. Im also focusing on discipline at the tables. I tend to get rattled over fairly dumb stuff and I rly let it effect my play sometimes. Havent been doing that so far, well see how it goes.

This weekend Im headed to SC with thac, kaz, letmelive, hockeyav and many many others. Its gonna be a fairly nutty time, and a good break from school. Im pretty excited and should have some good TRs afterwards. Besides that Im ready to just pwn poker and life, holla.

-PJo