for the first time really since i started playing poker Ive been asking my self is this really what i should be doing. i started looking at some collage courses, one that interested me was a film and documentary course. collage is free where im from, which is cool. but i missed registration this year so i'll have to wait till next year if i want to go to collage.

so for the next year playing poker seem to be my best option, il see where i am then, i think il always play poker but it might be good for me to have my main focus on something else like collage for a while. i wanted to save up like 25k and go travel, if i don't achieve that by next year i think collage is best option for me.

ive been playing 50nl and my results have been pretty good. but i haven't been as motivated or working as hard on my game as i used too. sometimes when im playing against good reg's it makes me feel kinda sucky, makes me realize i could be so much better then i am.

i think im going to try and go back to basics and come at it with the attitude that i suck at poker and really spend alot of time studying away from the tables. im hoping getting good at poker through study will get me motivated to play poker and move up the limits.
i have gone through periods of grinding alot , in feb. and april i pretty much played 6 days a week, 4 or 5 hours a day,but didn't maintain it.

Soooo, i played nearly everyday so far this year until the last 3 days. maybe i hit a wall, im running like $1500 below EV this year at 50nl and abit at 100nl. recently loss a good bit at a shot at 100nl. i just couldn't bring my self to play the last few day.
so today instead of playing poker i did what anyone else would do, i stuffed my self with pizza whiles drinking vodka and watching American idol. it leaves me with a lingering unfilled feeling.
going through runs like this really makes me realize you cant focus on the money or else your going to be on a rollercoster of emotions. my only goal should be try and play better and better and better, and if i make money i make money.
i think my roll is like 800 euro which aint to bad im probably down like $100 or $200 on the year.
i guess i just need to jump off from where im at tomorrow and stop being a bitch.
i need to remind my self how lucky i am to have the opportunity that poker presents me.
maybe il take it maybe im not good enough but at least i want to try my best

god dam that was cheesey! well i have been watching american idol, sooooooooo, you know, what ever. I WILL BE THE NEXT AMERICAN ID.....POKER SUPERSTAR!!!!! (who is irish)

good luck all

im happy with my work ethic so far this year ive only taking like 3 days off this year. i played and study tournaments for about 7 days, it was kinda of fun, a nice change of pace. i won a few hundred playing them and i now feel confident in my tournament game. but here are my cash game results so far this year.



ran full houses into quads 4 times, just didn't work out for me so far this year. the bad results haven't really effect me much. just gota keep playing and stay positive. my bankroll is now 1000 euro, once i get to 1200 il take a another shot at 100nl, just got done with a minus 5bi session at 100nl. so im gona go for a walk and get back to grinding 50nl.

good luck

so here our my results since my last blog. i only played 50nl, even though with my bankroll strategy, im allowed to play 100nl. my bankroll is now alittle under 800 euro. i had too go away for a few days,so im reasonably happy with the volume i put in. a good bit of it was 1 tabling hu and i usually only 4-6 table 6 max

[IMG][/IMG]

i played a good bit of 50nl heads up. which is great. i mean you learn so much playing hu and you learn alot quicker, i think il try and play at least some hu every week. once you go back too 6max after hu, it seems so easy.

chasing a state of mind: i think too be really successful at poker or anything you have too really want it bad. when im in the zone and tuned in, i see beyond just the surface of people games and start too really understand there games. but too often times im not in this state
im just forcing my self to play. how much better who it be if there was no forcing and i was inspired to play and really enjoyed playing.

occasionally il be in this state but then all of a sudden....puffff....its gone. im back to a state of procrastinating, feeling unfulfilled, waiting/hoping to stumble upon this state again.
right now i feel motivate to take action and make things happen. how long will this last? will i wake up tomorrow feeling unmotivated?
for me this state is elusive, i can stumble upon it a couple of times a week, where i really want to play, improve and do my best and i enjoy it.
the only thing i feel inspired to do, right now is poker. maybe its time for me to really put all my self into this. if im gonna do it, why not be the best i can be. when im in the zone, enjoying playing, i feel happy/fulfilled, like this is what i should be doing

i think its important to have a goal in life, to feel fulfilled. it doesn't even matter want it is. set a target and go for it. for alot of guys it might be girls, that's all they want in life, for others it might be some video game. it doesn't matter what. that feeling of moving towards something and achieving it, wanting something and taking action to achieve it, deciding what you want and getting it.

ive had these moments like im having just now, before. where i feel inspired and make grandiose plans. about how im going to eat healthy , exercise and play x hours of poker everyday. then tomorrow comes and i go right back into my old crappy patterns of behavior.
i know what i want and how to get it, the path is right in front of me. i don't have to think about that.
all i have to do is take consistent action. it seems so simple on paper.

im going to try and concentrate on my state. this state of motivation, that im feeling right now. if i could consistently access this state of motivation, i think id be able to do the things i want to do.
im just going to try and focus clearly on what i want and stay with it no matter what.

hopefully i can translate theses words into some action

this guy is pretty cool. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBcYG_J3O2Q


cheers

hey, ive been putting off posting this blog, casue ive kinda sucked since my last entry. i haven't played much. that's always been my problem, getting volume in, if anyone has any tips for that? i don't know maybe im scared of something, maybe not being as a good as a think i am. its not like i have anything else i need to be doing other then poker, im unemployed and broke and i have this great opportunity to make money and do something and i still don't act. im kinda getting sick of my own bullshit.

to me alot of poker is in my head, over coming my own stupid shit. im going to try and chance my criteria for success from making money to just putting in the hours and not give a fuck if i win or lose. just playing alot and learning/improving as i go along, that's success. at least this give me the opportunity to do something good. gota be in it to win

so here my graph for November is. haven't played December. my results have been good at least. my roll is up from 730 euro to 960 euro including ********. when i get to 1200 im gona take a 400 euro shot at 200nl.

[IMG][/IMG]




sorry this entry has been kinda emo-ishy, but i guest ive just kinda sucked this week. hopefully next blog will be rocking, with me putting in lots of volume. hope everyone else is doing well.

check out piff http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk5xfK0ovrk


cheers

my bankroll has gone from 360 euro to 730 euro since my last blog. i was going to put up the graph but i didnt figure out how to put it in yet. i think i have to upload the image to some kind of website first?
so the last week ive only played around 6000 hands. started out at 20nl, then 50nl now im playing 100nl. when my bankroll gets to 1200 euro il start playing 200nl or if i fall below 400 euro, il move down to 50nl.
i think i played well but also ran well.

the games ive been playing have alot of aggro openers/4betters, so one of the things ive been been doing is 3beting with the intention of 5bet shoving and ive been getting alot of 4bet folds from villains(obviously its only certain players, i dont do this vs all players). if i dont think i can flat call something like jt, jq 9t,kj, kt il 3bet with intention of 5bet jaming, theres some card removal with these hands and something like 9t plays decent vs his calling range i think and like 9ts.s. plays good in 3bet pots, if called. alot of it has to do with the rythem you have with villian.

i think one of the most important thinks to know about pre-flop is, where is villains breaking point when it comes to 3beting. for some villains i know they'll 4bet me 1st time i 3bet my button the majority of the time so, il 3bet something like kt to 5bet shove. other villains will let you 3bet then 2 or 3 times before they'll play back. you just have to get a feel for where peoples breaking points are. i think its important to always keep then pressure on pre-flop with 3bets. whether thats 3beting alot vs someone who folds alot or 3beting that aggro guy and getting it in light. people tend to tighten up and get scared, making it easier for you to play. people don't mess with you as much.

i think once i get into the routine of playing i think it'll be alot easier to get more hours in.
i was a bit rusty cause i haven't played poker over the last year, but im enjoying it.

i read a great book on overcoming resistance recently called "the war of art" my steven pressfield . when you have that feeling of really wanting to do something but you just cant get your self to do it, poker, exercise etc. you put it off and procrastinate. this is how to get past that. basically it says put the hours in, show up psychically and do the thing and if you do that inspiration will show up eventually. its very short book, helped me alot. its alot better then my little description.

this is a clip from joe rogans podcast. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-pPO...ure=grec_index

im sure a few of you already listen to it, its pretty cool. you can listen to it at http://www.joerogan.net/

thanks for the encouragement in the comments.


good luck

hi, this is my first ever blog post. ive never been someone who's interacted much within the poker community. ive been playing seen i was 15. i ended up quitting college to play poker full time when i was like 21 or 22. im now 24.

poker was a big part of my life. For a long time poker was everything to me its all i did and thought about. i viewed poker as a the key to achieving and experiencing the things i wanted in life like freedom and traveling and even relationships

so i quit college at 22, i was extremely driven, when it came to poker but alot of my drive came from fear, anxiety, worry etc. around the time i decide to play poker full time. i got very sick. all that negative energy caught up with me. at the time my bankroll had been between $20k - $30k. id been at that level for along time i must have had some physiological stuff stopping me from pushing past that. i played 200nl for along time

anyway, now its 15 months or so later, im healthly and ready to play, but pretty broke from general expenses and health expenses
my bankroll is only 300 euro, after last night 360 euro.

my plan is to move up very aggressively. play 20nl when i have above 120 euro, if i drop below that i play 10nl. when i get to 350 euro. il play 50nl, if i drop below 250 euro, il go back to 20nl. when i get to 600 euro il play 100nl and drop down if i go below 400 euro. when i get to 1200nl il play 200nl and drop down if i go below 800 euro.
once i get to 200nl. il make another plan. but i plan to move to 600nl fairly quickly and maybe 1000nl, im not sure because Ive never played at that level

i what to make a blog just to solidify things. i think it makes things more real and makes me more accountable especially since its on the internet and people can see it.

i suppose il post results and graphs to show my results and progress maybe once a week.
i think im good enough to achieve my goals. the big thing for me is can i generate enough energy to achieve my goals now that im more at peace and happy and dont have that massive fear etc. energy pushing me on. i find it hard to to take life seriously these days because im not scared or worried about life any more. il probably talk a small bit more about my life in the next few blogs and things that have helped me along the way.


future post will be shorter just wanted to introduce my self, il be surprised if anyone ends up reading this.
il try and end each post with a cool or funny video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOpOhlGiRTM