Not including 20kish hands of marginally winning poker I played before getting HEM, this is my lifetime graph to date:




Seems like a technicality, and I probably should have gotten over it months ago, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I always thought of myself as a losing player. Until this month that is. Actually, things turned around for me in the beginning of September which was about 71k hands ago. I was putting in a lot more volume than I had been putting in per month than ever before, and frankly, I was ready to give up poker if I couldn't make it happen financially because I couldn't justify spending so much time on it and away from my family if it wasn't making a monetary difference in our lives and affording us dance lessons and soccer for my kids.

I can't say that I worked particularly hard away from the tables in this stretch, but I am ready to do a lot more of that now that I am rolled for 100nl and can make okay money with less volume and more studying. Anyway, I feel like I was working hard away from the tables for a good two years or so before.

I had a couple of sweats with some other leggo members the last few days, and they went pretty well. I thought I played the best when Klamsauce was sweating me, and I really like how he thinks about poker. I have to say, pretty much everyone in the leggo community is very open and friendly, and that is nice to find. Please accept my personal thank you (though I know this is a very general way to do it...) everyone who has helped me out along the way--particularly Probability who is a close friend as well as my poker mentor, and has always managed to be very upbeat even when things were not going well for either one of us.

All the same, I am not one to let this go to my head. Actually, I am exactly the type of person who lets success go to his head, but I am fighting it. It isn't lost on me that I have a relatively small sample size lifetime, and the true measure of my playing will likely be over the course of several hundreds of thousands of hands. It will depend on how much work I put into my game, both mental and emotional, over years to come. Poker is working out great, and I think I can make it a decent supplementary income and maybe even a regular job to support my family (which would be dreamy). But at 37 years old (that's right, you heard me kids...) it seems like pushing my career future squarely in the middle of the poker economy could be a marginal shove at best. With that in mind, I am pursuing certification as a Sommelier through the Court of Master Sommeliers. I am almost 100% sure I will do this, though I have to wait until I talk to a couple of Sommeliers next week to make the final commitment. Even so, I am signed up for the Introductory and Certified course in late March. I have done really well performance wise in the restaurant industry, and this seems like it could be a way I could put my people skills to work for more money. Almost as important, the Sommelier community also seems to be very open and welcoming to newcomers, and I have found that I have developed a good deal of contacts over the years that will help me go much farther than I could alone.

I haven't given up on acting, and I am absolutely dying to do something creative in terms of live performance, but there just isn't enough money in acting except for a very elite few, who have arguably just run better than their competitors, and I came to the realization that I would have to find a career that could sustain my theater habit long ago. I am the most impassioned about acting, then maybe poker and wine are tied for second. Poker, wine, and theater seems like some crazy bacchanal troika, and maybe people wouldn't expect it of me if they knew me in real life, but I just gotta be me.

I always mean to post some hands in my blog, and I guess I should commit to more of that in the future, but this blog entry wasn't about how I played certain hands in the first place, and it seems a shame to tack on a few at the end of it now. Next week, I (sorta) promise....

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ

...for Thanksgiving, anyway. Last Thurs-Sat I ran up like 17 BI and just decided to take a break from all things poker related, and just concentrate on my family when I am not at work. We had Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws on Monday, and Thursday I am working until about 6 or 7pm at the restaurant, but should be at my Mom's house by the time the turkey hits the plates. Work has been long and tiring, and we are doing much more business compared to this time last year. More money is good, obv, but I am pretty freakin tired, which is why I am also taking some time off from poker. Even when I am the opening bartender, I rarely get off before closing, and when I am the closing bartender, it is easily past midnight until I get out. Anyway, the kids are out of school this week, and I just can't bring myself to spend a lot of time in front of the computer. We went to the Pixar exhibit at the California museum in Oakland (was great) and are making thumbprint cookies and mince pies today. We also played legos and made spaceships.

I will not be grinding out 50nl through the end of the year. I think I will 3 table a mixture of 50 and 100nl and post a lot of hands in the forums and my blog. My winrate has been kind of meh. Even though I am thankful that this is the first time in a long time where I have had an overall winrate over a decent sample of hands, I think I should just spend a lot of time working on my game and play a lot less. I don't think I will be able to grind very effectively, and why cut into my bank roll that I have built up?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ

Putting together a nice little heater over this last week. I have mostly played 50nl, but my bum hunting efforts at 100nl have been very fruitful. Last night I overstayed my welcome at one 100nl table (meaning the big donk left and I didn't) and got into a couple of spots that had me uncertain against some fairly aggro, decent players. Feel free to chime in on this hand:

http://www.leggopoker.com/forums/sma...ver-13422.html

When I am playing at one or two 100nl tables, I generally only play 4 tables at a time and I have to say the quality of my play is much improved. I have made a few changes in my game and my red line is staying pretty level now. I have been trying to keep up with the small stakes forum as well.

I am keeping in mind that this is all a very small sample size so far this month (7.6k hands) so I can't go getting all over confident. I will try and stay humble in the face of any possible unpleasant swings in variance that can happen at anytime. Reading Lostinthesaus' blog has been a little sobering. Also, who knows, I might just be hitting the bottom of people's ranges, etc.

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ

Figured I would post this today since I won't be playing tomorrow. All in all I am very happy with this. For sure I am not playing perfectly, but I ironed out a lot of things I was doing wrong in the first week (first 10k hands) and after that I played really well for my own standards. I heard someone in their blog describe this type of red line as a tag fish red line, but I am just happy my green line is going up.

Last three days or so were very swingy because:

a) poker is like that sometimes.
b) I was a little tired.
c) I wasn't playing many hands and was being results oriented.

It has given me a lot to think about for when the holidays are here and I will be tired from working so much at the restaurant and results oriented to a large extent. I think I am going to shoot for another 40k hands next month and I should be rolled for 100nl by December where I will play far less and be more involved in the forums, etc. The big uptick near the end of the month is actually me taking a 2 BI shot at 100nl on two tables. It went really well, obv.

Enjoy your Halloween debauchery.

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ

I feel like I am playing better and better. My number of hands this week suffered as I had a lot of stuff come up, especially today which was really going to be my day to grind, but oh well. In the past I would have found a way to play, felt pressured to get a lot of hands in, and dropped a few buy ins. One thing putting this much volume in has taught me is that there will always be some good games out, and it is best to get your real life shit in order so you can play optimally when you are at the tables. I am at around 27k hands for the month, which means I will have to make a pretty big push next week if I want to get to 40k by the end of the month.

I shipped myself all of my rakeback for the past two weeks because I wanted to see my br officially double for the month to 2k. I was gonna wait for the end of the month, but I thought it would give me some inspiration to round out the month with my A game.

It reminded me of a day early in the month where I got really impatient with a big fish who was playing top pair any kicker really aggressively. I ended up dropping like five buy ins in 40 minutes, and I was wondering if this whole poker thing would work out. I took a break, focused myself, and then was back at break even in like 90 minutes. Zongs, what swongs! It kind of made me feel like all the drama surrounded by losing a big chunk of money was a waste of energy, when really I should have been focusing on the quality of my play (the only thing within my control to improve, tbh).

I plan on cashing out 700 at the end of the month and continuing at 50nl for November. I feel a little guilty about not doing much work away from the table, and I will definitely have to make an uptick in my effort on that next month. Still, playing so many hands has given me a real sense of perspective that I think all my previous months of studying and posting in the forums a lot and playing only maybe 7-10k hands per month just could not provide. I will balance my studying/playing ranges in December when I plan on taking shots at 100nl.

I am up like 10 BI for the month. All in EV wise, I appear to be running really well, and there is a certain amount of guilt associated with that, tbh. All the same, I have ran horribly in a lot of other ways and I think it just evens out in the long run and I make an effort to think of better ways of playing my hands instead of thinking about how lucky I got when all the chips went in the middle.

At work, we have been fairly busy, and there were naturally bigger crowds for the Giants games the past few nights. Tonight the bar was full for the last inning, and everyone was cheering or moaning at every pitch. Ship the extra income on that. I hope the Giants go on to win the Series, obv, but I also hope they do it in seven games and at least three of them go into extra innings. I have been thinking a lot about getting certified as a Sommelier through the Court of Master Sommeliers. The introductory and certified levels seem to be fairly easy, and I have been told I could pass the tests right now with the knowledge I have. However, it seems to me that you need to get to the Advanced Sommelier level if you really want to have an impact on your career in the wine industry, and that involves changing some things around in my life. I would probably need to get some exposure to wines from all over the world, which means I either bust out a lot of money or work somewhere part time where I can taste a lot of different wines. I have the opportunity right now where I work to taste some very good wines, but they are mostly Cabs from Napa and there is a lot more out there than that. I am 80% sure that I will pursue it. I am intrigued by the whole blind tasting aspect of it and using a deductive process to narrow down the possibilites of what wine you are drinking. Seems an awful lot like putting people on hands in poker.

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ

21k hands played so far this month, and I am pretty happy with that. It is all very new to me and I am not sure how to wrap my brain around this kind of volume. Unfortunately I am a marginal winner without rakeback. All in EV apparently I am running pretty hot, but I seem to get action only from short stackers preflop when I have AA or KK. Also, yesterday I played a break even session where I was stacked about 5 times with coolers and I couldn't really have played it any other way. Seems difficult to quantify how you are running, tbh.

I haven't done a thorough review of all of my big losing hands for the month, but I seem to have made great progress in tilt control (cuz you always get another shot) this week over last. I think I have made 3 or 4 questionable stack offs this week which, newsflash, really DOES cut into your winrate. But it wasn't through tilt, just not thinking things through enough, which is where I need to focus on next week. I am also playing a lot tighter this week than last week, which I think is appropriate since I am six tabling.

I don't know how much my theoretical game is advancing because I have not been posting in the forums nearly as much, but putting in this kind of volume has really given me some nuts and bolts know how and a sense of perspective as to what your approach should really be when you are putting in some volume.

It is late and I am tired after playing poker all day and working all night at the bar. I will hopefully be able to tie this all up in a nice lucid blog post at the end of the month.

In other news, I lost to my 3 year old son in Disney Junior Princess Monopoly earlier this week. We ended the game when he started throwing the money in the bank around the living room (I think he should have been disqualified for that, tbh). Still we did a final count, and he was ahead of everyone else in cash on hand and properties, so gg me. I think to advance my restaurant career I will become a Certified Sommelier through the Court of Master Sommeliers, and hopefully, an Advanced Sommelier. Should take about two years since they don't give the tests too frequently and there would be a lot of studying involved. I think it will offer me better financial opportunities and a chance to be more directly involved with wine.

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ

This month I am going for volume. I think I need to know what it is like to be a real poker player, and I have been getting very disconcerted with short term results in the past. Nothing like volume to assure you that people will be giving you their stacks if you play long enough. Amazingly, I will be at 10k hands by the end of the day without any rush poker at all. I am currently in the middle of an 8 BI downswing. I tilted off 3 BI so far, but am getting a handle on that. I was happy to see I had about 3 BI in rakeback already for the month, so I shipped it so I can feel good about my br and know that I am close to break even after a week.

It is kind of a make or break month for me with poker. I will decide if I am continuing at all at the end of the month. Partially that has to do with how much money I make, if any. Partially that has to do with if I think I will like the volume and deal with the grinding life. We'll see.

I haven't been nearly as active in the small stakes forum as a result of my drive to make 40k hands by the end of the month. Sorry.

In other game-related news, I totally pwned my family at Disney Princess Junior Monopoly. (Small possibility that I just ran good.)

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ

I never thought about making it to 100 blog entries until recently. I think it is probably not such a big deal, but I wanted it to be something worthwhile. Thanks to everyone who has taken time to read and comment on my blog. The support and freely-given, well-intentioned advice (and criticism) is something that makes leggo a special place, imo.

I was hoping to have some good news as far as my foray into 100nl is concerned. But the experience has been decidedly mixed. First of all, on a hopeful note, 100nl seems like a game I can definitely beat when I am playing my best. In my first few sessions I played focused and intense. People were seemingly donking their stacks to me and it was ultimately a heady experience. I couldn't believe it, quite simply. I was very tenatively rolled for it, and it was a big confidence boost to play so well. Slowly, though, my game devolved, and I found myself adding more tables and grinding instead of playing focused, well thought out poker. Last Thursday I dropped like 3 BI during the day and vowed to move back to 50nl for the remainder of the month to protect my bank roll. Thursday night there just wasn't as much action at 50nl as 100nl, and I found myself at 4 very soft tables. Two of them had utter maniacs, and I was up over 2 BI in about 20 minutes. I thought about just calling it a night, but decided to keep playing because how could I really claim to be serious about poker if I gave up my seat at such incredibly profitable tables? I ended up down 5 BI or so on the day. I think I probably couldn't have avoided 3 BI of losses, but everything else was easily avoidable with some folds in marginal spots.

I still felt ok about everything. The next day I went to Probability's house for a live sweat at 100nl since with my previous 100nl winnings, I was still in shot-taking distance. He commented that I seemed to be playing without much thought post-flop, and echoed his concerns about me moving up to 100nl as a way of "printing money". I felt really bad about how it all had went. I went to work that night, slept on it, and woke up feeling pretty clear in the head and confident in my assessment that I had really blown it. Just considering the following facts really leaves no doubts:

Posts of 100nl hands in Small Stakes Forum: 0
Blog posts of hands played: 1
Review of Sessions: Inconsistent at best
Coffee consumed: Lots
Sweets consumed: Lots
Weekly Exercise routine: Seemingly abandoned.
Daily Meditation: Bi-weekly.

Matt said it is just an example of how powerful out and out greed is. Not a direct quote, but I think he would stand by it. The last four facts really don't have a lot to do with poker directly, but I keep tabs on these habits because they generally indicate where my head is at and how diligent I am being about what I am trying to accomplish with my life.

It is very tempting to make this blog post a big declaration about what I am going to do to change. It always makes me feel better, but to be honest it doesn't do much in terms of spurring me on to work harder. So, I will just leave it at that. I will be playing 50nl for the rest of the month, and while I can easily imagine me being at 100nl by the end of the month, I think it is best for me to focus on becoming a better player, particularly post-flop. If I can't manage to do this work for September and then play consistent in October (for whatever reasons, be they family or work obligations) then I think it would be wise just to give up on poker and find a different way to make some money. I can't go on this way, wasting my time messing about when I know what kind of work needs to be done. I guess that is somewhat of a declaration, even if it is in a more negative sense. I will leave it in all the same.

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFj

I found out yesterday that I improperly filed my 2009 taxes and I have to amend them. That isn't the bad part. The bad part is that I found out during the loan application process to buy a house, and it will take 12 weeks to fix it and, presumably, be approved for a loan. We had a potential house picked out and everything, but I suppose there will be more on the market a few months from now. I was much more stressed out about it yesterday than today.

Poker continues to go well. I am playing so much nittier at 100nl than before when I played 25nl and 50nl. It is a lot less stressful. I think, also, I just have fewer opportunities to make mistakes postflop by playing a bit more straightforward. You can play looser than 20/18 profitably, I am sure, but you have to be that much better than your opponents post flop.

Next blog post is my 100th, so I will have to do something special for that, I guess.

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ

So I have been flirting with 100nl for a while now, playing a table or two when the games were good and such. But when I lost a big pot, no matter how EV the play was, it would really upset me and affect my play. So I decided just to move to 100nl and take an aggressive shot. If I drop a couple of buy ins I can drop to 50nl and grind them back up. I never wanted to be a multitabling nit, but I thought playing four tables and nitting it up would be a step towards reducing variance. So far it has worked out well. I am playing something like 20/18 and just feeling really at ease. I think I can tighten up a little more, tbh. I am asking myself whether I can fold instead of whether I can continue or open. I am coming up to 100 blog posts, so I will write a more epic one then.

Play well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

PFJ