Lately I've been trying to figure out why I'm so unmotivated in life. I always think what could have been. What if I applied myself in high school, college. Where would I be today, what if I gave 100% effort of everyday to poker. My new definition of failure should be, not giving that day my 100% effort, that should be failure. What I currently do is halfass my way through life, if things don't workout my way, then I can just blame the fact that I didn't try hard enough. What I'm afraid of is that my best isn't good enough. I'm afraid that if I try my full effort, and I fail, then I'm screwed. I can't lie to myself and say, if only I had tried, I would have succeeded. Unfortunately, this is how I see failure at this point, I need to change the way I think, and have a new definition of failure. Not giving life everything I have to give, is failure, and that is something that I am ok with fearing.

Choose a 9 max table at random without looking at the average VIPIP. Also email FTP and have them increase the rake and slow down the software so you only get 30 hands an hour.