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Robin_Ripper

Jul
21
2010
Musical talent + Toilet stuff
Posted in Poker | View Comments (33)
 

This blog may contain some inappropriate toilet information. Be warned.


I think that as a house we've decided that I'm both the best singer and best whistler of the house. Whenever I'm listening to music I just can't control myself and I let the music take over. I get many complements on my excellent whistling. I do think my singing can use some improvement but I'm fairly satisfied to where it is right now.

This song is great to sing along with


Another thing that has come up in the house is bathroom behavior. It turns out that our house is very divided in almost everything you can do on the toilet and people were very surprised to hear that there is a different way of doing things then their own way.

Part 1: Do you sit or stand while wiping?

My thoughts on this are:



What is amazing that our house is almost 50/50 divided on whether they sit or stand. And here is also where comes great discussion, because standers don't see how you can possibly sit, and sitters don't understand how you can possibly ever stand. I have been both and can understand both sites, however, most people are baffled by the other option.


Part 2: Do you look on the toilet paper to see if you're done?

Again a big division on this, (this is also part of the discussion on how blind people know if they are done wiping. Here I don't understand how you can not look to see if you're done. You don't even have to look every time, but then just the last one. However the non-lookers claim they just know when they're done (friction wise).


Part 3: How many squares of toiletpaper do you use per wipe?


Assuming double ply toiletpaper our house ranges from using 2 squares up to 8!! squares per single wipe! while most people will fold the toilet paper once/twice before using there are apparently also people who sort of mash it into a ball before wiping....


All in all it is very surprising how there are so many ways to do this with everyone thinking their own method is vastly superiour to all the other options. I guess it is a subject nobody ever talks about and everyone just assumes everyone does it the same...


Let me end this blogupdate with saying that if you haven't seen it you should probably go and see inception.


Robin out

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Comments
07-21-2010
jaymesbond is offline jaymesbond
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sit while wiping---check it----5/6 sheets a wipe...shut it down
07-21-2010
robbyd86 is offline robbyd86
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i tried sitting and wiping, just doesn't feel right. I'm with you and jaymes in all categories
07-21-2010
Probability is online now Probability
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christ robin.
07-21-2010
Beans is online now Beans
Just get the fckn towels ready maybe?
07-21-2010
toocrispy is offline toocrispy
stand, check it, 4 sheets per wipe, last wipe i crumple into a ball
07-21-2010
coachgp is offline coachgp
stand, check each, flick the roll for varied sheets, always mash it
07-22-2010
HemmaCuda is offline HemmaCuda
sitting while wiping blows my mind....

One of my pharmacy professors was talking about the importance of examining your own fecal matter (for blood or other warning signs) and he talked about the "female way of wiping where you remain seated and flush before you stand" in which you obviously never see the excrement...This was the first time I was introduced to the concept
07-22-2010
Probability is online now Probability
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its absolutely insane to me that people stand up and let their ass cheeks clap together before wiping the shit off of them.
07-22-2010
preflopjitters is offline preflopjitters
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Sit for better access, check after second wipe and evaluate need for further wiping, what does mashing accomplish?

When I lived in South Korea I was told not to flush the paper down the toilet but put it in a little trash can next to the toilet. In Thailand (I only visited so I am not sure about this) I think there is traditionally no toilet paper, but you get a hose (which, theoretically, seems like it could be better than a lot of smearing).
07-22-2010
Mr Papagiorgio is offline Mr Papagiorgio
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and to think- cave-men prob just threw the shit at each other. we have come a long way

trying to get my mind around the standing part... you can't really just stand all the way up straight without creating a bigger mess, right??? you still would have to semi-squat a bit or lift your leg up/out i would think. at that point, why not just sit? that's where you started in the first plalce.
07-22-2010
toocrispy is offline toocrispy
when u shit its not like u get shit all on your ass, its in your asshole which does not get smeared around by you standing and thus squeezing your ass cheeks together
07-22-2010
hobiejuan1 is offline hobiejuan1
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People stand up to wipe? WTF
07-22-2010
Jackson Kings is offline Jackson Kings
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@hobiejuan1: I had the same thought, but then with people sitting down. WTF!
07-22-2010
JNuey is offline JNuey
I just really think the butt cheeks spread apart better while sitting, therefore a better job, but with practice to each his own. Before reading the comments I was sure it would be the euros who stood lols.

That said, sit/check/3-4 sheets per wipe.

Cuda - I definitely stand up and admire my shit before I flush it.
07-22-2010
klink- is offline klink-
1. sit. people actually stand up? sitting spreads your cheeks out more so you get max surface area clean
2. don't check. LOL, do people actually wipe then pull the toilet paper to eye level to check the level of poop on it? Just wipe 2-3 times or until it feels clean.
3. 4
07-22-2010
the fox is bak jak is offline the fox is bak jak
[QUOTE]ts absolutely insane to me that people stand up and let their ass cheeks clap together before wiping the shit off of them.[/QUOTE] lol

i'm the same as james except pre poop i lay a landing pad so no water splashes!
07-22-2010
Robin_Ripper is online now Robin_Ripper
I just don't get the non-looking part... you just have faith you're good??
At least look at the last one...
07-22-2010
Halfwarm is offline Halfwarm
I wonder how many whipes you guys make with one increament of 2-8 sheets. Or is it just me, that makes multiple whipes with one set of sheets.
07-22-2010
Probability is online now Probability
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Quote:
Or is it just me, that makes multiple whipes with one set of sheets.
ya... it's just you.
07-22-2010
Probability is online now Probability
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Quote:
I just don't get the non-looking part... you just have faith you're good??
it's a friction thing and 20+ year of doing this.
07-22-2010
DAiMONiON is offline DAiMONiON
i have another thing:
i alyways put sheets on the seat so its not cold when i sit down. and i somehow believe im not gonna press my ass into some other guys urin. its awesome.
07-22-2010
robbyd86 is offline robbyd86
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in a public restroom i put like 3 sheets down on each side of the toilet before i sit for reasons daimonion stated, and a few squares in the toilet to help prevent splash. I also use at least 5 sheets per wipe, and sometimes have to wipe 6-7 times or more if it's real messy. I probably kill at least one tree w/ every poop.

I don't even know how you ppl fit your hand in between the toilet seat, i just must have a fat ass or something but i don't see much room, i have to stand.
07-22-2010
Probability is online now Probability
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i think you use that much paper because you stand up and squish the shit allover your ass. it probably looks something like the ink blot things shrinks use to determine if ur crazy... except ur ink blot test is made of shit and is on your ass.

i have no idea why but i am very passionate about this topic.
07-22-2010
papabigballer is offline papabigballer
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robby you simply lean to the side, not that hard...sucks when you have an auto flusher though, starts flushing after the first wipe...

oh and sit, check, depends on the type of tp (i hate cheap ass paper thin tp), and i never put a liner down in public places bc i live on the edge...
07-23-2010
sh58 is offline sh58
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you don't stand up all the way, you just stand up a little, so your arm has more freedom/better angles

also +1 with wtf people don't look

i usually use 3 pieces per wipe
07-23-2010
Robin_Ripper is online now Robin_Ripper
but you don't have to stand up at all, you can just lean forward/sideways a little
07-23-2010
hobiejuan1 is offline hobiejuan1
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What is the proper ettiquette when your dumps are so huge that the water splashes over the edge of the toilet? Is it my responsibility to get a mop? I'm always confused when this happens in public.
07-23-2010
robbyd86 is offline robbyd86
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leaning seems very uncomfortable but i will give it a shot.
07-23-2010
Reefypoopoo is offline Reefypoopoo
sit - check - 3/4 - folded 2-3 times

FLUSHABLE TOILET WIPES FTW
07-23-2010
Reefypoopoo is offline Reefypoopoo
to those that don't check - why rely on blind faith when you can visually confirm? You don't know how good of a job you're doing with the friction method since you never check anyway.
 
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