I lost 30K yesterday playing a mix of games.

It's far from my biggest downswing, and a lot of the damage was at 25/50 so obviously it's not really that big a drop... but it provides yet another symptom/consequence of my carelessness and lack of focus the last couple of months.

It is about time that I admitted to myself that, cynicism and a healthy sense of humour aside, doing so poorly at the WSOP after setting aside 3 months to specifically practice and work on my tournament game in the leadup to the series, hurt me a lot, and I'm still feeling depressed about it.

I have no discipline, no focus and whatever motivation I convince myself to muster is almost completely contrived.

I thought that PLO would provide the spark but it didn't.

It's just too easy up until a level where the swings are too big for someone like myself who prefers to pump money into my mortgage rather than aspire to playing 200/400.

So, I have decided to banish myself to $400NL, and I am only allowed to play $400NL until I win $20000.

On the day I make my 20kth dollar I will post a screenshot and consider myself cleansed.

As far as PLO goes, I can play 3/6 or 5/10, but no 10/20 PLO until I've made a significant amount at 5/10 PLO and below, and no 25/50 PLO whatsoever in the foreseeable future.

I have drifted so far in my focus that I need the punishment - and my confidence, not so much in MY game, but in THE game (although that is pretty much always a defensive front anyway) is low enough that I need to win consistently for a period to remind myself what is possible with discipline and with flow.

It has been a long time since I had to do something like this, but it has always worked in the past.

Let's just hope I can still beat 2/4