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SEABEASTThe masochistic adventures of a donkamenteur
First things first, I failed my driving test again.
This time it wasn't even close, I never stood a chance. Got another one booked for three weeks time - sigh... I have been feeling a little down lately, and I realised it's because I've been spending all my time doing things that I am not very good at. I am used to spending a lot of my time playing poker, and getting the positive reinforcement from knowing I am playing well, as well as posting in various forums and getting a lot of positive feedback from that too. But lately I haven't really been playing at all, and I haven't been reading much poker either. Aside from the failed driving, I've been spending my time doing a combination of other normal person stuff like exercising, non-seriously pseudo dating a couple of girls (never really done this, was previously an all or none guy) going out (I've started actually planning weekends in advance!) and trying to keep my life relatively organised. I haven't felt like I've been making that much progress, and I was starting to feel quite negative, but not quite sure why, until I realised that I'm just used to getting a lot more positive reinforcement in my day to day life. Realising that and then reconciling with myself that I'm doing an ok job and that it's a transition period, and I should be putting forth a stronger effort in some areas but it's ok because it's a long term thing, has been really good. Today I went for a jog in the park, I am planning on doing this a lot more often. I played 2k hands of PLO also, and won 6k, which would be nice except that I lost 12k yesterday. I think if I can run just a little further with each passing couple of days, and can start to consistently log some hands at non-donkament forms of poker, I will start to feel more productive. Looking back, I've actually done quite a good job since I've been back home. It's just been so strange doing all this stuff that I'm not very good at, and not getting immediate reward for any of it. I've been listening to heaps of new music, the new Converge album is amazing, as is Raekwon - Cuban Linx II and I really enjoy listening to The xx - xx. Three very different sounds (extreme metal/hardcore, dark hip hop, downbeat/dreamy/melancholy indie) but three amazing albums that all came out in the past couple of months. Nas is playing a street festival in Perth this weekend, should be awesome!
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