I'm super super stoked to be able to say that I made a profit in July, despite a 7.5k downswing early in the month. I worked pretty hard to get it back, and got a 4th place in a 100+9 for 3k which helped a lot. Overall with ********/bonuses I suppose I finished about 2.5k up for the month, so pretty happy about that.

August is going ok, but I still haven't found my A-game for what feels like months. I think i'm gonna look into some professional coaching to iron out a few of my bad habits and reinforce the things i'm doing well.

In other news, I think last months poker tilt has reincarnated itself as a moderate to strong dose of lifetilt. It's not making me spew at the tables or anything, but it probably is preventing me from playing at my very best. It's definitely stopping me from putting in anything resembling decent volume.

The worst thing is I know exactly what's causing it, but am unsure of how to fix it. It's restlessness, I feel like i'm stagnant, just going through the motions and not really progressing through the game of life at the rate I should be.

Yet this is a somewhat unfounded train of thought, because I'm about to buy a house (currently liaising with financial institutions to work out a budget). Met a cool lass recently but it didn't work out, blah blah standard. Also I really wanna give up cigarettes, but can't even visualize this happening anytime soon. Hopefully when the property thing picks up momentum I'll grab the rope and haul myself out of the rut.

Basically I should be happier than ever and feeling like I could conquer the world but it's quite the contrary... F M L