Okay, so. What. The. ****.

I go to K (I'll call her K because I'm nice but I should say .. whore?)'s house earlier today to hang out and her cute friend Emily and hot 16yo sister are there. Life is amazing. I got home and was talking to PJo and my roommates about how life is cool, and K calls me and says PJo and I should come back to the bars in Toledo with her and Emily. So after the Michigan game (LOL **** YOU BEVILL), we get around and head there.

Arriving in Toledo 15 mins late, they're still not ready, and don't get ready til about midnight. I stop at Brooke's and see Chloe for like an hour, and then get dinner and a beer for PJo and they say they're ready finally. We drive there and are chillin and everything's awesome. They show us their corsets and their bras and whatnot and we're on cloud nine. It's so sweet and we're basically thinking we're getting laid tonight. I'm the designated driver so I take E's BMW and drive it to the bar.

We roll out to this Ryno bar that is the exact opposite of the Rhino in Vegas... a ****ing hole in the wall piece of **** bar with 30 people, 26 guys and 2 other girls besides K and E. They flirt with like everyone and start making out with each other and we're like, whatevs, we got a hotel room with them tonight and they're all ours. Oh boy were they not.

After the bars closed down, the night began. We go to this after-party thing and there's no one there so we go to this ripped Air Force dude's house and we're real glad he's not an enemy cause dude is BIG. Like 6'5, 260 and cut like crazy. There are probably 10 of the sleazeball guys, three other girls and K, E and me and PJo. The three other girls bounce and K and E start making out and being sluts.

We just chill for a while and like 4am rolls around and the people at the house were saying we all had to leave because they had to lift at like 9am (lol). So K and E go to the bathroom and this skinny-ass pale nerd tells us we need to get the **** out. We are like "are you serious? the girls are in the bathroom, just wait like 45 seconds" and the dude starts pushing me tryin to get me out the door, I tell him to just hold the **** on and he punches me in the stomach and the Air Force dude tells us to get outside.. we gladly oblige cause dude is ****in huge.

So I have E's keys to her car and we're standing outside wondering what the **** to do, and she calls me and says get back up to the apartment with her keys and in the background I hear one of the dudes say "those mother****ers can WALK to their car". I tell PJo we're going. We start to drive off in E's car... not knowing where we're going. We know we turned a lot of times, but other than that we have no idea. Here's a visual of where we stopped and called Brad (bknollenberg) because we were lost and needed directions compared to where my Z was:



So Brad decides he needs a cigarette and I decide **** him I'm driving. I eventually find the road I need and remember some of the landmarks. I get to that diagonal road close to where my car is and I pass a cop going 10 over the speed limit. He doesn't turn around.. whew. I get to the road before we turn to get to my car and pass another cop... he stops us. We get turned onto the road where my car is -- I can physically see my car -- and we do the whole "getting pulled over" thing.

I can see so many things going wrong.. they reported the car stolen, the cop wonders why we have the car, the lack of an insurance card ****s us over, the Air Force dudes are at K's house just waiting for us to pull up.. the possibilities were endless. So I tell the cop I'm taking E's car back to K's house because she's passed out drunk at some dude's party and I need to get back to my car. He says he just gave my Z a warning because I parked illegally and asked if I know the speed limit and all that bull****, I tell him no, and he gives me a warning. Yay, two warnings in one night, ship that!

So I get back to K's driveway, put her keys on the seat and drive away in the Z. It's 6am and I'm wired and was scared for our lives, and I am pretty sure I've never had so much fun.

I PJo.