I, you, or we may never get what we really want. My wants are pretty unique for someone who is pretty decent at a card game; maybe not unique, but insatiable. From the start of my attempt to redeem previous failures in wrestling, I've realized that there were always going to be bigger fish to fry. There's not going to be a final boss like Phil Ivey. I'm in kill mode now, but when it feels like I'm going nowhere I don't have the capacity to let it go even when I could be taking more productive routes. It's also difficult to learn a productive career when you could care less about money. Just a tumble of weed rolling through the desert type thing.