I have a pretty embarrassing storey to share with you guys. I need to get this off my chest and embarrass myself as punishment for this stupid stupid event.
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So this past weekend I went on a trip with some friends. I had to go to Halifax (Canada) to sign some papers and get registered for school and such for September. A few of my friends came with me and we spent the first night in a hotel. I then went camping with my GF and such for the next few nights, and that was really fun, but this storey is relating only to the first night. We planned on heading down the casino for 5-6 hours and just play some poker. I brought $700 with me and that was my absolute cap because we were drinking and I didn’t want to risk any more than that on a few hours.
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I probably had a few shots before going down and I was feeling pretty good. I like drinking for live poker and I think having a few shots is fine and actually makes me focus/play better. I’m not afraid (live tells?) to pull moves if I think it’s correct and it helps socially.
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Anyway, I registered for the $2/$5 game and sat in, and bought in for the $500. I told myself I wouldn’t drink anything for the first hour or 2 and then I’ve have a minimal amount more because we were planning on going out after playing. I got aces about 3 times in the first 2 hours and made some money (mostly preflop, at least twice I had 3 callers for $65 preflop after someone raised before me to $15 and then I took it down on the flop). I gathered a pretty aggressive and seemingly crazy image which is what I wanted. I was playing good and winning what seemed like every pot I was involved in, live poker is the nuts.
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After about 3 hours I had built my $500 into a stack of over $3k. I was happy and in the zone.
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At this point I made the mistake. I proceeded to order double after double to the point where I no longer knew what was happening. I can’t remember much after this point, but I left the casino with $40. My friends told me that I refused to leave and that I was playing almost every pot and playing super aggressive in many stupid spots. I was not surprised to hear this given the state I was in.
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The administration pulled me aside after I almost fell asleep at the table and told me I was cut off. I said something along the lines of, “Alright that’s fine, but can my friend drink for me?” “Okay I’ll just get him to drink for me then.” Numerous times during the end of the session I was asking the dealer how many were left in the tournament, and if this is a cash game or a tourney and if I was in the money.
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Winning $2.5k would have been a great thing for me, but because I couldn’t handle my drinking I left the casino down almost $700. I know drinking is bad for poker, so I don’t need to hear a lecture. The lesson was learned and it won’t happen again. But damn do I ever wish I could go back in time. So depressing to think about how idiotic those few last hours were.
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Losing $700 doesn’t bother me. I didn’t care about that. I care that I lost it (and the money I had previously won) in such a stupid manner. I don’t think I will ever stop beating myself up for that. ****.