Figured I'd give this thing an update and see if I can make a commitment to posting here regularily.

EMO STUFF HERE
Poker stuff first. March has not gotten better, it has become worse still. The games are sick sick sick good, probably the best I've seen them in the last 3 months for some reason, but I continue to lose. This is March so far, 90% NL200, 8% NL400, 2% higher

I've been playing easily the best poker of my life at the beginning of my sessions, but maybe 30% of sessions have ended with me playing very very poorly (but not monkeytilt yet). I don't feel like a losing player, but sometimes I'm not so sure. Unless there's a massive turnaround in the next 10 days, the first 3 months and 60k hands of the New Year will be breakeven.

School has been going really poorly as of late. My sleep schedule has been atrocious and I've been missing a lot of class. Combine that with an overwhelming sense that my program is very wrong for me along with the soul crushing apathy that accompanies that lack of motivation and you've got a recipie for poor performance. I had a midterm two days ago that I had studied very very hard for, then misread my schedule and showed up for it one period late. Buh-bye 20%. Pretty frustrating as I've been a 90+ average student for all of my high school and university career. No one to blame but myself though.

I don't think that poker is interfering with school (as well as other things) in terms of time commitment especially as I've only logged 17k hands this month, but I'm god damn certain it has emotionally. After a bad losing session I find it near impossible to move on and interact normally socially or be productive with anything else. The money matters very little to me; I'm a student with a tiny monthly nut, pretty much no expensive vices and tuition has already been paid for. My only explanation of it would be that I hate losing at things I try hard at, and money is the way that I keep score in poker. Enough of this **** though, it's depressing.
EMO STUFF OVER

Climbing has been really rewarding recently. I've been taking a series of partner and self rescue courses recently that are really interesting. The idea is to teach you what to do in an emergency situation, like your partner getting knocked out by a falling rock 250 feet up a route, with a minimal amount of gear. Kinda fun and really useful stuff. I also got elected to the club executive last weekend in a junior type position which is sick and will really let me get involved a whole lot more. Top that off with sending my first 5.10d yesterday and I'm a happy camper when it comes to climbing.


To end on a happy note, about a week ago I tried pot brownies for the first time and really enjoyed the experience. The high was different than that of normal inhalation and took much longer to set in. We split the pan below between 3 people and it had about 5g cooked into it, more than enough for our purposes. About 15 minutes in I noticed a definite increase in tactile awareness. 30 minutes in Old School came on TV and the movie couldn't have been more perfect for our purposes. Watching Will Ferell take a tranq dart to the neck was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Around an hour in I became really interested in textures and started feeling everything: skin, hair, clothes, the floor, whatever. Apparently my housemate came home and watched me rub my hand on the couch for 30 minutes. 2 hours in the most intense stuff started rolling in. It felt like someone took a tight plastic balloon and started rolling it really tight down my body from the top of my head. I could still breathe fine; it just felt like my skin was being stretched down over my skull and slowly down over my face, my neck, my shoulders, then my arms. The come down was nice and I slept for a long time afterwards. Totally mellow experience and one that I'd like to try again.

Proof that drugs support communist. ARE YOU A COMMUNIST BILLY???