My Br was crushed and i dont know how to handle it
So its all started for me in 2005 it was summer as i recall. ( i was 15 at the time) My family went to vacations in some place and one night ( in athens greece as i remember it was the 1st ever time that televised poker arrived to greece) I was watching the ept prague i think it was it not sure if the towen is correct though. So i was watching it with my dad and i was shocked on how cool this game was and how many things u can do in it to fool ur opponent thats how i used to see it, and thats how it is tbh poker in my eyes is outsmarting ur opponents. Any way back to the topic, my dad knew how to play , so i asked him to teach me, he was hesitatnt in the start ( because he is considering it gambling) but eventually he gave up and learned me. From the first 1 hour i played with him (betting beans and other stuff in the house lol) i think that i realised the hands the structure and how it goes in general, 2 cards and make the best combination throughout the board. (That was my lvl at that point). SO that gave me my boost that i needed in it.
All started 2 years later , all of my friends started playing poker , so i started to play poker in a site with fake chips ( i learned there about with hannd to raise etc etc but i wanted to achieve in there so i met a guy that was a cash game player but he was logging there to take abreak, with that guy i we become friends he was undeer the screenname durrrr. ( he told me that he got better by watching videos on guys that posted in youtube. So i did the same i was watching poker videos for hours literally 10 hours per day , high stakes poker , poker after dark , video tutorials from random pros and other guys that were playing at the time etc etc etc . SO i though i got better actually i got tons better. The results were fast to be seen, in a home game tournament with friends i won over 8 ppl 40 euros (5 euros buy in) in like 1 hour. So thats where the hanger for more came.
I First deposited 10 bucks in a site called mybet.com with my friend durrrr ( ofc he wasnt the real tom dwan) And we played there , in like 3 weeks the 10 dollars became 70. ( but still i wasnt good enough in managing tilting and when i was loosing i was going for higher stakes etc etc the all knows to u story so i ended up busting my account. Then i started playing in pokerstars cause i love that site due to the variety of game that it has. I deposited 10 bucks i busted i deposited again i busted again and again a 3 time. ( i wasnt aware of any bankroll managment) That stopped that poker Action for a while. Then i saw a video by chris ferguson talking about bankroll managment and then it oppened my eyes clearly, so i searched a bit more about it and i saw how much of an idiot i was to not follow it. So I deposited again and then the magic started to happen....\
I depositred 10 bucks i build my way up though sit and goes and heads up matches ( what i recall my speciality) And the 10 bucks became 100 , i started playing then cash games 0.10/0.20 limit hold em and 0.10 / 0.25 no limit hold em i from that finally made it with a swing to the best of 500 (with S&G and tourneys to go with it aswell) So i finally had my bankroll to go for the 0.25/0.50 that pretty much deternmines trhat either u move up stakes to low from micros or u get crushed pretty much...
I was running so bad ( Or i am a bad player idd i dont know i have lost my confidence that its crucial in this game, its a must to have confidence to play ur A game) I got crushed i was loosing in everything i was playing, S&G , Tourneys , Heads up ( that i was considering my speciallity ) And cash games, and i can assure u it wasnt bad game or bas decisions , i was managing every time to put my money in the spot i wanted and having the best hand. I could actually feel that being in that position even with having QQ cracked by 66 or my aces cracked my KK and even 44. I was in shocked with my luck, i couldnt get a single flip on my side , or even an already made hand couldnt stand and not fall to a better one that was either on turn or the river. I mamaged to survive that weeks leaving with 200 Euros.
I moved down stakes eventually and keep loosing and loosing my last hand was pocket jacks in 0.02/0.05 and i got called with 107 making him a str8. So that i was my bankroll all lost.. My morale and pride crushed, i mean i wasnt even energetic enough to go out with my buddies or even meet up with my girlfriend ( and i can assure u it wasntfor the money and it was because i was beat when i was better, sure its poker you have to deal with it but its hard because u get beat not because u loose ur money, right now i dont know if i should drop poker or keep going.
My morale is crushed ofc losing the money doesntr bother me so much , i get iver with it with the money and i have my cool its the thing that i got bad luck for like a long time. Thats why i posted here i really love poker i trully love it and its one of the few thigs i have a passion for. Thats why i posted here i read a guys story about his bankroll and i wanted to share it with u and hope that u might help me a bit if u can.
I can tell u one thing for sure though I love this game...